IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Juvenile crime is attributed to the violence in media. Do you agree or disagree? What are the solutions?

#crime #violence #media
MEDIA PEOPLE DIPICTING MORE
CRIME
 ATTEMTED BY OFFSPRINGS.
THIS
 ESSAY CONCURE AND DISCUSS VARIOUS SOLITIONS TO TAKLE
THIS
 PROBLEM. TO START WITH, FROM INDIVIDUAL POINT OF VIEW, CHIOLDREN DO
CRIME
 BECAUSE OF LACK OF KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF LIFE. SO, PARENT SHOULD HAVE MORE CONCERN ABOUT THEIR CHILD, DO THEIR PROPER UPBRINGING AND TEACH THEM HOW TO BE A GOOD MEMBER OF THE SOCIETYAS WELL AS A CITIZEN. FOR AN EXAMPLE, MY NEIGHBOR'S SON ATTEMTED ROBBARY WHEN HE WAS 15 YEAR OLD BECAUSE THEY DID NOT TAUGHT THEIR CHILD ABOUT BAD BEHAVIOUR AND WHAT ARE THE RESULTS OF THE
CRIME
. SO PARENTS PARENTS SHOULD GUIDE THEM BY BEING FRIENDLY AND OPEN-MINDED AS TODAY'S GENERATION. BY
THIS
 THERE WILL BE A LESSER CRIMES.
MOREOVER
, GOVERNMENT
ALSO
 DO SOME PROGRAMS LIKE REHABILITIATIONCEMTERS IN WHICH OFFENDERS CAN GET INFORMATION ABOIT GOOD BEHAVIOUR AND HOW TO LEAVE THEY RONG HABITS. TO ELABORATE, AUTHORITY SHOULD IMPLIMENT RULES LIKE REHABILITATION S MANDATORY FOR ALL CRIMINALS AND FOR ANYKIND OF CRIMES. FOR AN INSTANCE, IF ONE IS A MURDERER AND OTHER HAVE DONE ROBBARY THAT THERE ARE NO EXCEMPTION FOR RUBBERS JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE JUST A THIEF.BY
THIS
 WHO AL ARE ALREADY GOT A NAME PLAYTE OF CRIMINALS CAN HAVE A CHANCE OF BEING RESPONSIBLE MEMBER OF THE NATION.
IN ADDITION
 TO
THIS
,
ALSO
 THERE SHOPULD BE SOME RESTRICTIONS FOR MEDIAN PEOPLE. TO ILLUSTRATE, LAWS IN WHICH THEY HAVE THE BOUNDRIES AND DUTYIES MENTION. SO THAT THEY KNOW WHICH NEW THEY CAN PUBLISH AND WHAT NOT. FOR AN EXAMPLE
,
Accept space
,
OF THEY GET NEWS ABOUT ONE SCHOOLER HHAS DONE SOME THIEFT.
THEN
 THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TELECAST
THIS
 NEWS ON THE TELEVISION. BECAUSE IT WILL INFLUENCE A MANY OTHER STUDENTS TOO.BUT IF THEYB GET INFORMATION LIKE RAPE HAS ATTEMTED BY 25 YEAR OLD BOY,
THIS
 DEFINATELY THEY SHOULD SHOW BECAUSE
THIS
 MAKES PUBLIV AWARE OF
CRIME
. TO SUM UP,
HOWEVER
 IT IS TRUE THAT MEDIA SHOULD HAVE RIGHT TO PUBLISH ANY
CRIME
 BUT I THINK WITH JUVENILE THEY SHOULD BE MORE CAREFFUL ABOUT WHEN AND WHTA TO SHOW. EVRYONE IS RESPONSIBLE TO MAKE SOME CHANGES IN THE COUNTRY.
Submitted by drsefalipatel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: