IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowadays , many people spend less and less time at home .What are the causes of this? what are the effects of this on individual and society?

#people #time #home #effects #society
It is true that in
this
 modern world several individuals spend a very short period of
time
 at their homes.The fundamental reason of
this
 tendency is
materialistic attitude
Suggestion
the materialistic attitude
 of people
,
Accept space
,
which not only has a detrimental impact on their health, but
also
 makes the relations weaker on societal aspect. As above mentioned, a question which always occurs in the minds of people as why more and more people utilise much
time
 out of their homes seems to be possible because of some people's rat race for earning as much as possible.
This
 happens because we are living in a competitive world,
thus
, to compete others as well as to flaunt their status in society a number of people used to spend a big chunk of
time
 at their workplaces because to earn more people have to
work
 more.
Therefore
, it results in deducting their hours to spend at home.
However
, its impact is negative because there is no doubt in saying that when people remain occupied in their
work
 for more
time
, it spoils their health. As, due to the
work
 load they can neither take proper diet nor rest, which is essential for sound mind and healthy body.
Moreover
, it will not be unfair to say that our relations depend on the care and
time
, which is not possible for some people because of their hectic lifestyle. Giving large proportion of the
time
 to
work
 used to inhibit the hours to spend with other people
such
 as family members.
For instance
, nowadays dysfunctional families are taking place at large scale which are mostly the cause of less
time
 for relations because to make them strengthen more and more
time
 is demanded. To conclude, lust to earn more and more in life is considered by
this
 essay the major reason of spending less
time
 at home which is elaborated fully earlier.
This
 phenomenon leads to make body unhealthy along with spoils the chain of relations.
Submitted by naresh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: