The chart below gives information about global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

The chart below gives information about global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.
The chart illustrates information about the number of
game
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
, CDs and DVDs that were sold between 2000 and 2004.
Overall
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
CD's
Change noun form
CDs
show examples
are very popular globally during the period.
In contrast
,
game
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
are least sold among the given items in all the years.
However
, the
sales
of
game
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
followed
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
show examples
trend unlike
CD's
Change the noun form
CDs
CD
show examples
. In the year 2000,
CD
sales
are around 35 billion dollars, at that time
DVD's
Change noun form
DVD
show examples
sales
are half the
sales
of
CD
sales
. Games
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
contributed approximately 15 billion dollars in the same year.
Following
Correct article usage
The following
show examples
year, the number of
CD's
Change noun form
CDs
show examples
that were sold saw a negligible decline. In
comparison
Add a comma
,comparison
show examples
the
sales
of both DVD and
game
software went up slightly. Between 2002 and 2003, DVD video selling surged reaching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
values around 25 and around 30 respectively.
Next
, the
sales
of
game
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
in 2002 improved a little bit from 2001
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but remained almost similar in 2003.
Finally
,
CD
deals remained almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
from 2001 till the end of the period.
Submitted by Goutham on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words game, softwares, cd, sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: