Some think that only those people who have worked for a company for many years should be promoted to a higher position. Do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an opinion that
primarily
Suggestion
primary
staff members who have dedicated many years to working for a particular
company
should be given executive positions in a
company
. I disagree with
this
viewpoint in as
Suggestion
viewpoint as
much as younger workers may have more skills and if not provided with an opportunity for a promotion, they will become
demotivated
.
Although
senior employees
have proved
Suggestion
have proven
to be reliable and loyal, more often than not, it is novices who have a wider cluster of actual skills.
This
is because young specialists exert their full effort in mastering their hard and soft skills in order to meet the requirements of today’s highly competitive job market. Yet another reason why less experienced staff members should have even chances for a promotion is that
otherwise
they will not be motivated to do their best. Knowing that
however
hard they try, they still will not be given a higher position in a
company
, young employees are likely to grow reluctant to go
extra mile
Suggestion
the extra mile
, which may negatively affect a
company
’s revenue and curb its development. To illustrate, a prominent IT Entrepreneur Pavel Durov had to leave his workplace
since despite
Accept comma addition
since, despite
his outstanding abilities, he was not rewarded with a leading role.
As a result
, he successfully set up his own business while his employer lost his
company
due to lack of highly qualified workers. To sum up, even though individuals who have worked fewer years for a particular
company
might be less trustworthy, they should be equally promoted as they have up-to-date knowledge and skill sets.
Besides
that,
this
will encourage them to apply their abilities to the fullest,
thus
contributing to the prosperity of a
company
.
Submitted by talltree4real on
IELTS tutor Anna Klimova, Instagram @ielts_as_it_is

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: