Today it is common to see a famous sportsperson advertising sports products. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, it is common practice among popular athletes to endorse sports goods. I believe it can bring more sales, and

this

advantage outweighs any potential disadvantages. One potential drawback of using popular sports celebrities for commercials is that it will cost a lot of money.

This

due to

the fact that they have an incredible reputation, increasing their negotiation power with advertisers.

For example

, one of the most famous badminton players in Indonesia has increased his brand dealership rate by 100% after winning an international championship.

However

, I believe

this

can be avoided by paying them a commission for each item sold rather than a large sum of money upfront;

thus

, the brand will not be burdened by the high cost of advertising. On the positive side,

this

approach can increase sales.

In other words

, consumers are frequently influenced by their idols, which makes them more likely to buy things recommended by them.

For instance

, the Nike Air Jordan, which is a collaborative basketball shoe by Nike and the legendary basketball Jordan, has generated more than 1 million dollars since it was first launched.

This

is likely to occur as Jordan is a top-key opinion leader in the basket industry; thereby, when he gives a recommendation for an item, his followers tend to follow and buy it. I think

this

is a major advantage for the enterprise since the growth of sales means more funds for expansion, research and development, and better product quality. In conclusion, given the rising trend of athletic stars suggesting merchandise that would result in high marketing costs, I believe

this

downside is greatly outweighed by the upside that

this

practice could enhance revenues, leading to business growth.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sun Mar 03 2024

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task achievement

Consider a more detailed introduction that outlines the key aspects of the debate to offer a clearer framework for your essay. This can help set the stage for your discussion more effectively and engage the reader from the start.

task achievement

While your main points are supported by examples, consider diversifying your examples and further developing your arguments to add depth to your essay. This includes considering counterarguments or a wider range of perspectives, which can enhance your task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, work on smoother transitions between your paragraphs and sentences. Phrases that show contrast, addition, cause, or effect can help link your ideas more clearly and make your argumentation more fluid.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting information directly relates to it. This will strengthen your essay's logical structure and make your points more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

endorsement
familiarity
influence
inspiration
trust
boost
motivation
over-reliance
quality
misleading
vetting
promote
affordable
celebrity status
effectiveness

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People aim to achieve a balance between their work and personal life, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?

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