IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

youth violence is a result of violene in the media, do you agree or disagree

#youth #violence #violene #media
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
For the post-modern period, younger generation violence has been increased.There is an opinion that primarily violent content on the media is a culprit and the government has required to take action against these properly;
however
Linking Words
, there remain some disagreements. It is considered;
therefore
Linking Words
, that others factors are responsible for the same, so parents and teachers should fix the problem. I, support
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint.
First
Linking Words
 of all, it is an indisputable fact that, not all have who either listened or watched explicit, provocative programs may not be become criminals. Not having controlled and supported, children, tend to become involved criminal activities: murdering, robbery, and shoplifting.
In other words
Linking Words
, youth, especially teenagers, who are easily manipulated by others, are should be closely monitored by parents when they are at home. While these people at school be asked regarding whoever their friends and whatever activities they participate outside the home. These relevant information owing to discuss with parents to ensure their children are on the safe side rather than blaming the media. Yet, another point is to consider here is that providing supportive services to youngsters who are from a problematic family background.
By contrast
Linking Words
, if the government control youth and ask them to what to do or what not do would interpret that inversion of their privacy. Helpline and counselling is the best method to resolve
this
Linking Words
 problem effectively even though it is quite expensive. In my belief
this
Linking Words
 could have far reaching benefits not only for youth, but the entire society may be helped. By way of conclusion. I again reaffirm that by closely monitored in school and home, youngsters would be rescued from becoming an offender in their later in the life. It is
also
Linking Words
 suggested that blaming the media is waste of as
this
Linking Words
 an nothing to do with criminal behaviour.
Submitted by Sal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: