Some people believe that it is good to share as much info as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Other, believe that some information in too important or valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give opinion

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In the eyes of some, information should be freely available in academia, science fields and among
business
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

entrepreneurs, whilst other people argue that
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essential matters should not be widely accessible.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will shed light on the aforementioned before concluding that the author believes a balanced approach should be taken. There are several benefits of enabling the availability of data in various fields. First and foremost, in the
business
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sector, organisations should ensure transparency in
products
Change the noun form
product

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of products. Consider changing it to singular.

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information,
financial
Correct word choice
and financial

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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statements in order to preserve the code of ethnic and create a fair relationship between key partners.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, companies should disclose details on the ingredients of their products for customers to make informed purchases.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in academia and in the field of science, knowledge should be shared freely among labs and
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions

It seems that institution may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, as it would cultivate multidisciplinary cooperation, paving the way for various
breakthoughs
Correct your spelling
breakthroughs

If you don’t want breakthoughs to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and novel discoveries. To illustrate,
Correct article usage
the Covid-19

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19

The word Covid-19 doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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vaccine is
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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product made by a joint effort between a university in Japan and one prestige institute in the UK.
On the contrary
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is indispensable that certain information should not be published widely, as it contains trade secrets or confidential matters. In fact, numerous
organsations
Correct your spelling
organisations

If you don’t want organsations to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

have invested a fortune
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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research and development before launching
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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certain products, and it is within the companies' right to keep the details protected.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the recipe of
Coca-cola
Correct your spelling
Coca-Cola

The word Coca-cola doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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beverage
Fix the agreement mistake
beverages

It seems that beverage may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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is protected by a patent, which protects the ingredients
to be
Change preposition
from being

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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copied by competitors.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, especially in the cases of government-owned
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses

It seems that business may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
, there are certain matters that could not be disclosed, as it holds crucial values to a country's economy. In conclusion, I think that both sides have their own merits, and
policy makers
Correct your spelling
policymakers

The word policy makers seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
should discuss and
issues
Change the noun form
issue

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of issues. Consider changing it to singular.

show examples
laws that ensure fairness,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

maintaining integrity in
business
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, science and academia.

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coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, try to ensure that each paragraph flows more smoothly. Consider using transitional phrases to enhance the coherence between the points you raise.
task achievement
Ensure your main points are consistently linked to the essay question. For example, explicitly connect the examples you provide to the main argument being discussed.
coherence cohesion
You have introduced the topic well and provided clear arguments for both sides, which demonstrates a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are concise, relevant, and well-structured.
task achievement
Your examples, such as the collaboration on the Covid-19 vaccine and the Coca-Cola recipe, are relevant and add depth to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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