Some people believe that it is good to share as much info as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Other, believe that some information in too important or valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give opinion

#people #info #research #business #world #information

In the eyes of some, information should be freely available in academia, science fields and among

business

entrepreneurs, whilst other people argue that

such

essential matters should not be widely accessible.

This

essay will shed light on the aforementioned before concluding that the author believes a balanced approach should be taken. There are several benefits of enabling the availability of data in various fields. First and foremost, in the

business

sector, organisations should ensure transparency in

products

Change the noun form

product

show examples

information,

financial

Correct word choice

and financial

show examples

statements in order to preserve the code of ethnic and create a fair relationship between key partners.

For example

, companies should disclose details on the ingredients of their products for customers to make informed purchases.

Moreover

, in academia and in the field of science, knowledge should be shared freely among labs and

institution

Fix the agreement mistake

institutions

show examples

, as it would cultivate multidisciplinary cooperation, paving the way for various

breakthoughs

Correct your spelling

breakthroughs

and novel discoveries. To illustrate,

Correct article usage

the Covid-19

show examples

Covid-19

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

show examples

vaccine is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

product made by a joint effort between a university in Japan and one prestige institute in the UK.

On the contrary

, it is indispensable that certain information should not be published widely, as it contains trade secrets or confidential matters. In fact, numerous

organsations

Correct your spelling

organisations

have invested a fortune

Change preposition

show examples

research and development before launching

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

certain products, and it is within the companies' right to keep the details protected.

For example

, the recipe of

Coca-cola

Correct your spelling

Coca-Cola

show examples

beverage

Fix the agreement mistake

beverages

show examples

is protected by a patent, which protects the ingredients

to be

Change preposition

from being

show examples

copied by competitors.

Furthermore

, especially in the cases of government-owned

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

, there are certain matters that could not be disclosed, as it holds crucial values to a country's economy. In conclusion, I think that both sides have their own merits, and

policy makers

Correct your spelling

policymakers

show examples

should discuss and

issues

Change the noun form

issue

show examples

laws that ensure fairness,

while

maintaining integrity in

business

, science and academia.

Submitted by kimtruong270192 on Tue Jul 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

While your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, try to ensure that each paragraph flows more smoothly. Consider using transitional phrases to enhance the coherence between the points you raise.

task achievement

Ensure your main points are consistently linked to the essay question. For example, explicitly connect the examples you provide to the main argument being discussed.

coherence cohesion

You have introduced the topic well and provided clear arguments for both sides, which demonstrates a balanced approach.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are concise, relevant, and well-structured.

task achievement

Your examples, such as the collaboration on the Covid-19 vaccine and the Coca-Cola recipe, are relevant and add depth to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is good to share as much info as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Other, believe that some information in too important or valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give opinion

Your opinion

Nowsaday, lots of businesses consider making money as the top priority, so they think they do not need to be responsible with the society. To what extend, do you agree or disagree?

1.In recent years, the structure of a family and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?

We should fix the traffic and transportation by making everyone lives in the cities not suburbs or countrysides. What to extent do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

In the past, the main role of teachers was providing information. Today with various sources of information available to students, teachers have no role in modern education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?