IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The recent popularity of online shopping will result in the end of high street shops. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#popularity #street #shops
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In these recent years there has been
huge rise
Suggestion
a huge rise
 in online shopping.
Although
Linking Words
 some feel that
they
Suggestion
They
 will be no effect
to
Suggestion
on
 small
business
Use synonyms
, I
,
Accept space
,
however
Linking Words
, believe that there are three factors
which
Suggestion
Which
 will end the era of small
business
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, online shopping companies like Amazon, ebay offers different kinds of
installment
a payment of part of a debt; usually paid at regular intervals
instalment
facilties
a building or place that provides a particular service or is used for a particular industry
facilities
 to the customers.
while
Suggestion
While
 I concede that even small shops offers
same kind
Suggestion
the same kind
 of service, the problem is that they
suppoprt
give moral or psychological support, aid, or courage to
support
 only limited finance companies.
whereas
Suggestion
Whereas
 online
business
Use synonyms
 allows all types of finances like credit card,
over draft
a draft in excess of the credit balance
overdraft
 and so on. A good
illustation
artwork that helps make something clear or attractive
illustration
 of
this
Linking Words
 is
sunday
first day of the week; observed as a day of rest and worship by most Christians
Sunday
 market, In
this
Linking Words
 market most of the small
business
Use synonyms
do not accept
Suggestion
does not accept
 credit cards as they can't afford the
transcation
the act of transacting within or between groups (as carrying on commercial activities)
transaction
translation
 charges. Another key factor is twenty four hours shopping and delivery. Many supporters of small
business
Use synonyms
 claim that many
number
Suggestion
numbers
 of shops in the city are open round the clock.
However
Linking Words
, I would argue that they are open all the
time but
Accept comma addition
time, but
 the
comfortness
things that make you comfortable and at ease
comforts
 of
shoppping
searching for or buying goods or services
shopping
 at your place in the midnight
is
Suggestion
Is
It's
 a totally different experience. Beside
this
Linking Words
, in many foreign countries the night temperatures
are tend
Suggestion
tend
have tended
 to be freezing and in
this
Linking Words
 weather going out
for
Suggestion
For
 shopping is dangerous. The final and most
worriesome
not reassuring; tending to cause anxiety
worrisome
 factor is expensive products. More and more small
business
Use synonyms
 often price their products high, because they have to cover all the expenses
such
Linking Words
 as rent, labour, transport and so on.
whereas
Suggestion
Whereas
 online shopping rarely matter all these things. Take
Amazon
Accept comma addition
Amazon, for
for example
Linking Words
, they do not have
single physical shop
Suggestion
a single physical shop
single physical shops
 in the whole country, as
there
of them or themselves
their
 maximum operations run through online computers. In short, not only online shopping causes local
business
Use synonyms
 to go bankrupt, but they
also
Linking Words
 change the whole shopping experience to the
next
Linking Words
 level.
Therefore
Linking Words
. I agree that they will make a huge impact on local street shops.
Submitted by masooddell on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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