IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Stress related illnesses are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#stress #illnesses
People are increasingly suffering from sicknesses
as a result
 of
stress
.
This
essay
 will discuss the main causes of
stress
 related sicknesses including longer working hours and increased job pressures.
This
essay
 will suggest solutions to these
problems including
Accept comma addition
problems, including
 improving one’s
work
 life balance and
diet
. People are working longer hours than ever before
.
Accept space
.
In
addition they
Accept comma addition
addition, they
 have more job pressures. People replace themselves under these
unfavorable
not encouraging or approving or pleasing
unfavourable
 conditions because the workforce is a competitive domain.
For example
, some people aspire to climb the corporate ladder to gain high status and a high paying job.
This
often result
Suggestion
often results
n
a unit of length equal to one twelfth of a foot
in
 mental and physical suffering because they have to
work
 overtime and take on additional roles which can be stressful. Maintaining a good
work
-life balance and improving one’s
diet
 are both critical to mitigating
stress
 related illnesses. People need to realize that if they live only for
work
 they will suffer either mentally or physically and a poor
diet
 will
further
 exacerbate these issues.
For example
, many
employee
Suggestion
employees
 burn out from working too much and neglecting family, friends, exercise and hobbies as well as the foods they eat.
Therefore
, in order to reduce
work
 on must include a better ratio of
work
, rest, recreation and dietary sustenance. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
 in today’s fast paced world more and more people are becoming ill
as a result
 of
stress
.
Accept space
.
this
Suggestion
This
essay
 discussed how
stress
 is often caused by long working hours and intense workplace pressure.
This
essay
also
 suggested that the solutions to
this
 problem are twofold: to manage a better
work
-life balance and to eat a healthier
diet
.
Submitted by famokeodo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • constant connectivity
  • job demands
  • work-related stress
  • societal pressure
  • achieve success
  • erosion
  • work-life balance
  • exposure
  • negative news
  • social media comparisons
  • chronic stress
  • mental health support
  • stigma
  • flexible work hours
  • stress management techniques
  • mindfulness
  • access to mental health services
  • community support systems
  • emotional support
What to do next:
Look at other essays: