Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #free-time #people

After a few decades

Accept space

television

shows had improved so much which connected

closeknit

Suggestion

close knit

to human life. People spend

hour

Suggestion

an hour

hours

and hour front of

television

.So

This

situation makes us become tired of working

further

human's relationship goes down. At we start,

television

makes people lazy and less

time

for

sociallising

the act of meeting for social purposes

socializing

socialising

with others. For instant, people used to

spent

Suggestion

spend

their spare

time

for family in the old days before the invention of

television

appears. Now most of our

time

using for watching

entertainment showcast

Suggestion

the entertainment showcase

entertainment showcase

an entertainment showcase

entertainment showcases

and staying away each others.

In which makes relationship

Suggestion

Which makes the relationship

In which makes the relationship

between human and human goes badly.

For example

this

is real

case

events that provide the generative force that is the origin of something

cause

refers to the speaker or writer

had seen

in my neigbhour

Suggestion

my neighbour

in my neighbour

Robbers

Suggestion

The robbers

got inside my

grandmother'house

the mother of your father or mother

grandmothers

and took one of my motorbike in the way so easy

inspite

happended

come to pass

happened

in the afternoon.

Suggestion

contrast,

television

provide

Suggestion

provides

many

value

Suggestion

valuable

informations

a message received and understood

information

around the

world but

Accept comma addition

world, but

we don't have to go out.Many study programmes for

student

Suggestion

the student

students

is free on

television

or document about history life

Accept space

seesighting

Accept space

people

also

television

Therefore

Accept space

limiting the

time

on using

time

for watching

television

good thing

Suggestion

a good thing

to begin

with. In my conclusion,

refers to the speaker or writer

'd like to agree with the statement about using too much

time

for

television

is not only make people lazy but

also

spend less

time

for

sociallising

the act of meeting for social purposes

socializing

socialising

with others.

Furthermore

, risky from lazy connect with many diseases

such

obeity

more than average fatness

obesity

Accept space

stress

Accept space

less creation

Suggestion

less creative

and more.Human should spend more

time

for other activities and social life

instead

of staying at home

Accept space

Submitted by thucnguyen0306 on Tue Oct 08 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

You are taking a course at a local college.The deadline for your project was last week but you haven't finished it Write a letter to your lecturer.In your letter Introduce yourself Explain why you haven't handed in the project yet Request more time to do it.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?