Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In the process of job application, some employers may ask for personal data
such
as hobbies, marital status, interests and so on. Certain demographics of society think that these details are applicable while
others opine that it is not relevant.This
essay will discuss both views as far as I am concerned I am in favour of the latter notion.
On the one hand, the inclusion of personal information in applications allows employers to understand an aspirant's character and suitability for the position. For instance
, a hobby such
as playing sports could demonstrate an applicant's ability to work in a team, while
knowledge of foreign languages could highlight their adaptability and willingness to learn new things. Additionally
, providing clues about one's marital status might be useful in jobs that require relocation or long hours, as it could reveal the candidate's flexibility and family responsibilities.
On the other hand
, it can lead to discrimination and bias. Some employers may use this
information to make assumptions about the contestant's gender, age, or ethnicity, which could result in unfair treatment or a missed opportunity for the applicant. For instance
, a married female candidate may be perceived as less committed and less likely to accept long working hours. Additionally
, providing personal information may not be relevant to the job requirements and could be considered an invasion of privacy.
In conclusion, authorities should focus on evaluating candidates based on their qualifications and work experience rather than their personal data. This
way, the recruitment process would be more transparent and effective.Submitted by nandnilekhi on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
You've displayed a sound understanding of the task by discussing both views and presenting your opinion, which contributes to a good task response. However, to further enhance your score, ensure your opinion is reiterated and emphasized in the conclusion for a stronger impact.
coherence cohesion
Your essay benefits from a logical structure, introducing the topic, discussing both views, and concluding with your opinion. To strengthen coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases between paragraphs and within them to better link ideas.
task achievement
Providing specific examples can significantly lift your essay by making your arguments more convincing. Where possible, incorporate real-life instances or hypothetical examples to support your points more robustly.
coherence cohesion
You effectively introduced the topic and provided a clear conclusion reflecting your viewpoint, which enhances the clarity and purpose of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents main points supporting both views, which demonstrates your ability to examine a topic from various perspectives.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite