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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Most employees nowadays put increasing emphasis on social skills. Some people believe that social skill are important on addition to good qualifications for job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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According to
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 some, social
skills
Use synonyms
 are a must to have in
this
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 competitive job market. A
person
Use synonyms
 with a good social existence navigates complex situations in their role,
whereas
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, a technical know-how
person
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 finds it difficult to pass through those positions.
Hence
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, I believe, employees striving for better social
skills
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 is a no-brainer and I have the following reasons to support my stance.
To begin
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 with, in
this
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 modern working environment,
in addition
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 to their great qualifications, many employers look for candidates who are collaborative and proper team players.
This
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 helps the organization to properly gauge if incoming employees are fit enough to dovetail well within their existing team setup.
Moreover
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, it is proven in office environments, that a
person
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 with an easygoing and social mindset, always finds a way to come out of tough positions.
For instance
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, if a consultant with a great meeting presence does a presentation to a client on a solution and if a client probes about a missed scope, the consultant would use his strong presence of mind to provide a perfect response to the client's query. The same could not be said if a technically astute
person
Use synonyms
 faces
such
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 situations.
Furthermore
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, mastering social
skills
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 can prepare staff for the leadership role, as possessing people
skills
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 is a must for leaders in a management position. As a leader, one has to have a charming presence, give rousing presentations, be approachable etc. In fact, many great leaders tend to possess empathy, which is a great people skill that puts them in their employee's shoes and understand their pain points.
On the contrary
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, without people
skills
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, if an employee gets promoted based on technical acumen,
then
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 the company's
employee's
Change noun form
employee
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 morale takes a nose dive. So
to conclude
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, in my opinion, employees should master social
skills
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in addition
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 to better qualifications.
This
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 is because it assists them to fit in seamlessly inside the organization's setup which helps them to succeed in their job.
Besides
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, it
also
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 provides them with a great chance to be a leader in an institution.

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task achievement
To enrich your essay, you could diversify your examples and evidence. Try illustrating your points with a variety of real-world scenarios or statistics to further bolster your argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider the structure of your paragraphs more carefully, ensuring each has a clear main idea followed by supporting evidence and perhaps a concluding sentence to tie it back to the overall essay question.
coherence cohesion
Review and refine your use of linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas, which can further enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay topic and your stance on it, providing a clear direction for your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a strong logical structure, with clear progression of ideas from introduction through body paragraphs to the conclusion.
task achievement
You've aptly used examples to support your main points, making your arguments more persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Teamwork
  • Communication
  • Leadership
  • Technical competence
  • Adaptability
  • Innovation
  • Customer service
  • Career advancement
  • Workplace culture
  • Global marketplace
  • Morale
  • Problem-solving
  • Client-facing roles
  • Job satisfaction
  • Effective interaction
  • Balanced combination
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