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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that poverty is the reason behind most crimes. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #poverty #reason #crimes
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In my opinion, there is some other way to commit a
crime
Use synonyms
 except of indigence between people.
However
Linking Words
, I agree with
idea
Suggestion
the idea
 of poverty so it is one of the important
factor
Suggestion
factors
 to criminality. On the one hand, there
is
Suggestion
are
 some other reasons to
criminal act
Suggestion
the criminal act
a criminal act
criminal acts
.
Firstly
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, mental disorders
are
Suggestion
is
 another factor which must be considered.
For example
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, in UK 50% of criminals are suffering from mental health.
Secondly
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, lack of sufficient education in young generation is another
reasons
Suggestion
reason
.
Actually there
Accept comma addition
Actually, there
 is
direct link
Suggestion
a direct link
 between rate of
education parents
Accept comma addition
education, parents
 and
crime
Use synonyms
 which result in dire consequences.
Thirdly
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, living in
countryside
Suggestion
the countryside
 and
also
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 environmental of life can effect on people living there. It is likely even might be
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this places
Suggestion
this place
these places
 faced with drug dealing. So people should accept the consequences of living in
this
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neighborhoods
a surrounding or nearby region
neighbourhood
.
On the other hand
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, I
also
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 believe that the most significant reasons of
crime
Use synonyms
 is poverty.
Furthermore
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, having financial problems
are
Suggestion
is
 common
between
Suggestion
among
 people.
This
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 is likely to have
detrimental effect
Suggestion
a detrimental effect
detrimental effects
 on their morality
also
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 can lead to
crime
Use synonyms
 activity. Undeniably. Recent research has shown that the African people are having economic problems. In a other words the more financial problems the more
crime
Use synonyms
 in a way that they are faced with
high
Suggestion
high crime rates
a high crime rate
crime
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 rate due to armed criminal
such
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 a these countries. In conclusion, it is true that
crime
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 has a number of reasons. But in my opinion, poverty is
most significant reason
Suggestion
the most significant reason
 human faced in twenty-
first
Linking Words
 century so
that is
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 why most people commit a
crime
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by arsanmirzaee9260 on

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