The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, the idea of reducing the working
week
and extending the weekend has gained significant attention. I completely agree that a shorter working week
coupled with
a longer weekend would be highly beneficial.
Firstly
, a shorter working week
can significantly enhance employee well-being. With extended weekends, workers have more time
to rest, pursue hobbies, and spend quality
time
with family and friends. This
can reduce burnout and stress levels, leading to better mental health. In countries like Sweden, trials of a six-hour workday have shown that employees are happier, healthier, and more productive. The increased personal time
allows individuals to recharge, which can translate into more focused and efficient work during office hours.
Secondly
, a reduced working week
can improve productivity
. Contrary to the traditional belief that longer hours equate to higher output, evidence suggests that overworking can lead to diminished returns. The phenomenon known as "diminishing productivity
" indicates that after a certain point, the quality
and quantity of work produced in longer hours begin to decline. In fact, a study conducted by Microsoft Japan found that a four-day workweek led to a 40% increase in productivity
. This
suggests that when employees are well-rested and motivated, they can achieve more in less time
.
Additionally
, a shorter working week
can contribute to a more sustainable work environment. Fewer working days can reduce commuting, leading to lower carbon emissions and less traffic congestion. This
is beneficial not only for the environment but also
for the overall
quality
of life in urban areas. Moreover
, companies may experience cost savings on utilities and operational expenses with reduced office usage.
However
, it is important to acknowledge potential challenges. Certain industries, such
as healthcare and emergency services, may find it difficult to implement a shorter working week
without compromising service quality
. Therefore
, a one-size-fits-all approach may not be feasible, and adaptations might be necessary depending on the sector.
In conclusion, while
there are challenges to implementing a shorter working week
, the potential benefits to employee well-being, productivity
, environmental sustainability, and gender equality make it a compelling proposal. Companies and governments should consider flexible approaches to adapt to different industry needs while
striving to improve work-life balance for all.Submitted by mohsen.souri93 on
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coherence cohesion
Although your essay is highly coherent and cohesive, incorporating more cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, transitional phrases) to link sentences and paragraphs would add to the overall fluency.
task achievement
Your arguments are well-supported by relevant examples and statistics. However, ensure that the statistics used are current and cited if possible to enhance credibility further.
task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both the advantages and potential challenges of a shorter working week.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is outstanding. Each paragraph flows naturally from one to the next, making it easy for readers to follow your arguments.
task achievement
You effectively use examples and evidence to support each of your points, which strengthens your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, framing your arguments well and providing a neat closure to the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example