The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the idea of reducing the working

week

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and extending the weekend has gained significant attention. I completely agree that a shorter working

week

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coupled with

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a longer weekend would be highly beneficial.

Firstly

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, a shorter working

week

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can significantly enhance employee well-being. With extended weekends, workers have more

time

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to rest, pursue hobbies, and spend

quality

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time

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with family and friends.

This

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can reduce burnout and stress levels, leading to better mental health. In countries like Sweden, trials of a six-hour workday have shown that employees are happier, healthier, and more productive. The increased personal

time

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allows individuals to recharge, which can translate into more focused and efficient work during office hours.

Secondly

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, a reduced working

week

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can improve

productivity

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. Contrary to the traditional belief that longer hours equate to higher output, evidence suggests that overworking can lead to diminished returns. The phenomenon known as "diminishing

productivity

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" indicates that after a certain point, the

quality

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and quantity of work produced in longer hours begin to decline. In fact, a study conducted by Microsoft Japan found that a four-day workweek led to a 40% increase in

productivity

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This

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suggests that when employees are well-rested and motivated, they can achieve more in less

time

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Additionally

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, a shorter working

week

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can contribute to a more sustainable work environment. Fewer working days can reduce commuting, leading to lower carbon emissions and less traffic congestion.

This

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is beneficial not only for the environment but

also

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for the

overall

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quality

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of life in urban areas.

Moreover

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, companies may experience cost savings on utilities and operational expenses with reduced office usage.

However

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, it is important to acknowledge potential challenges. Certain industries,

such

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as healthcare and emergency services, may find it difficult to implement a shorter working

week

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without compromising service

quality

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Therefore

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, a one-size-fits-all approach may not be feasible, and adaptations might be necessary depending on the sector. In conclusion,

while

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there are challenges to implementing a shorter working

week

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, the potential benefits to employee well-being,

productivity

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, environmental sustainability, and gender equality make it a compelling proposal. Companies and governments should consider flexible approaches to adapt to different industry needs

while

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striving to improve work-life balance for all.

mohsen.souri93

Jul 27, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Although your essay is highly coherent and cohesive, incorporating more cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, transitional phrases) to link sentences and paragraphs would add to the overall fluency.

task achievement

Your arguments are well-supported by relevant examples and statistics. However, ensure that the statistics used are current and cited if possible to enhance credibility further.

task achievement

Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both the advantages and potential challenges of a shorter working week.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is outstanding. Each paragraph flows naturally from one to the next, making it easy for readers to follow your arguments.

task achievement

You effectively use examples and evidence to support each of your points, which strengthens your overall argument.

coherence cohesion

Both the introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, framing your arguments well and providing a neat closure to the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

364 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

productivity
burnout
motivation
mental well-being
work-life balance
job satisfaction
pollution levels
traffic congestion
consumer spending
economic implications
leisure and service sectors

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The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to live in rented homes rather than purchasing their own homes

Many cannot speak or present well in public. Some people think that it is important to speak well in public, so the training should be from school. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some employers are giving more value on hiring people with good social skills apart from good qualifications. Do you agree or disagree that social skills are just as crucial as good qualification for successful work?