With the development of technology children are now living in a world that is completely different to what it was 50 years ago. What problems does this cause for society and the family

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays with
Accept comma addition
Nowadays, with
technological advances living in a world for children compared with 50 years
a go
in the past
ago
is completely different.
This
Linking Words
following essay I will discuss some of the biggest problem associated with
development
Suggestion
the development
of
technology
Use synonyms
with society and family. One of the most significant problems of
this
Linking Words
topic is
sedentary lifestyle
Suggestion
a sedentary lifestyle
. The development of
technology
Use synonyms
has led to speared many diseases and these days people suffer from many diseases due to watching tv and computer for long hour.
Secondly
Linking Words
, recent research has shown that the
american
of or relating to the United States of America or its people or language or culture
American
families are spending less time together. It is likely they only spend 5 hours weekly while in the
past they
Accept comma addition
past, they
were spending more than 20 hours per week. In a other words, another factor must be
consider
Suggestion
considered
their
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
is
change
Suggestion
changing
changed
with together.
This
Linking Words
is likely to have a detrimental effect on their mental health. Indeed, communication family members with together have rude manner.
For example
Linking Words
, their children may even have
a
Suggestion
an
internet addiction
also
Linking Words
they are dominated by
technology
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.
Linking Words
therefore
Suggestion
Therefore
, it seems clear that the development of
technology
Use synonyms
affects negatively the family relationships. In conclusion, in
this
Linking Words
digital age with technological
advances many
Accept comma addition
advances, many
people in the world dominated by
Use synonyms
technology it
Accept comma addition
technology, it
can lead to detrimental
affects
property of a personal character that is portable but not used in business
effects
on their mental health and relationships.
Submitted by arsanmirzaee9260 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: