Describe a person you admire the most. Why do you admire she/he? How does the person affect you?

#person

Today

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I would like to talk about a person I admire.I suppose most of you will be familiar with

this

symbol.Yes

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this

is the symbol of the famous company

Alibaba

This

company It is one of the most successful companies in China.Some famous online retailing business websites

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TaoBao

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Taboo

and Tmall

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are both the business of

Alibaba

.Those services really improve our living standards.When I talk about

this

company I think most of you have already

know

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known

who I am going to depict.Yes

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he is Jack Ma, the founder of

Alibaba

. He was born in Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province

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which is near to Shanghai.In 1999

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Jack Ma founded

Alibaba

in Hangzhou.In 2017

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have become

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had become

has become

became

the most richest

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the richest

man in China. Turning Regarding to the reasons why he

desires my

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desires, my

respect, the obvious one is his wisdom and confidence.At

first

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he was only a normal person like us.He has even failed the college entrance examination for twice.When he left the

school

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started to find a job

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he has been refused several times because of his appearance.His experience was so bumpy

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but why he could achieve

such

a great achievement in the future?That’s because he had confidence in himself that he could achieve success and he really had the power and wisdom to realize his ideas.Sometimes I will think about what I would do if I fail so much times like him.I think it is impossible for me to have the same choice like him.I may just give up when I was

refused so

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refused, so

much

times

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time

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but Jack Ma had a totally different attitude to those setbacks.He never cared others’ views and persevered with his own business until he succeeded. What I still want to mention is that he is a grateful and kind man.As we all know

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he is a student from

Hangzhou Normal University

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the Hangzhou Normal University

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he joined the

school

because of his excellent English.After he became a famous businessman

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he did not forget his old

school

instead

donate

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donates

some money to help the

school

.He has

also

set up some foundations

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education and medical treatment. All in all

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I think he is admirable.His special experiment can always encourage people who are

failed

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failing

.His help to the society is very significant.In the future

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I hope I can become the same person as

him

objective male pronoun, used to refer to a male human or animal

Submitted by 14425840 on Wed Oct 09 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

365 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Describe a person you admire the most. Why do you admire she/he? How does the person affect you?

Fully explain your ideas

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. many students are choosing to study online instead of face-to-face education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?