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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, more people are spending less time at home. Why do you think this happens? What effect does this have on individuals and society?

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It is noticed, that an increasing number of individuals spend fewer hours away from their houses.
This
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 could be due to more hours spent at work.
This
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 trend, if left unchecked, could negatively impact the health of people and the community at large. Many people spend less
time
Use synonyms
 away from home because the basic work hours have increased as opposed to a few years ago.
This
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 is not the same as overtime.
This
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 could be
as a result
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 of increased demand for goods and services, or the recent economic downturn which has led to people working overtime to meet their basic needs.
For example
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, the average civil servant works two hours extra before closing, unlike five years ago. In spite of the extra hours, there is no increase in wage.
This
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,
therefore
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, results in people spending extra
time
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 working away from home. In the long run, the effects of spending Lesser
time
Use synonyms
 at him becomes apparent to people and society at large. One of
such
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 effects is reduced sleep.
This
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 results in reduced productivity in the workplace. People who sleep less are more likely to make poor judgments and costly mistakes.
For example
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, a person who sleeps for three or four hours is likely to come to work tired and irritable, he or she is
also
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 likely to fall ill more often. There has been increasing cases of motor accidents, and traffic congestion caused by drivers found to be sleeping at the wheel.
Furthermore
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, sleeping less reduces the economic growth of society because of poorer decisions and more hospital
time
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 for its members. In conclusion, People are spending less
time
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 in their homes.
This
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 could be
as a result
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 of more working hours. The result of
this
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 trend is people getting less of the necessary sleep they need to function in their best capacity as an individual and reducing the quality of their contributions to the community at large.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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