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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organization #life #organizations
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The differences in the community views of the behaviour on whether to find a job in various companies or just stay at
one
 company.
However
, I believe that working for only
one
 corporation may lead to limited insight compared to working for many corporations.
Thus
, I personally agree with the idea of moving from
one
 corporation to another.
To begin
 with, to stay in the same organization for the whole life may make it easier to get new
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
, but I do not think so.
That is
 because the workflow and procedures that are done by certain factories usually have been staying the same for almost the whole decades. So, if we work only for
one
 manufacturer, we may not know how other companies do their manufacturing processes that possibly have significant positive differences with the current company that we are working for.
On the contrary
, working for different corporations can benefit from the wider skills that the workers may have. It is because usually every factory has its own manual to operate their machine or technologies even though the product that these different companies produce is the same, the procedures may have even slight differences.
Consequently
, if workers constantly change their workplace, the familiarity that they may gain is significantly wider than those who do not. In conclusion, each idea has its own reason to be said.
However
, personally, I think that moving from
one
 workplace to another is the better thing to do rather than only staying in
one
 corporation because of the amount experience and proficiency
that is
 being offered is different.
Submitted by vanadia on

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task achievement
The essay lacks clarity and specificity in ideas and examples. It is important to articulate your points clearly and provide specific, relevant examples to support each point.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. Ideas should be organized more coherently, with better use of paragraphs and clearer transitions between them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
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