Some people believe that watching TV is good and makes life more enjoyable. Others, however, feel that it is a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

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Television

Use synonyms

has affected our lives considerably since its invention. It has created two opposite schools of thought on the

ground

Fix the agreement mistake

grounds

show examples

of its serviceability. There is one who believes it to be a source of amusement and there are others who oppose

this

Linking Words

notion and consider it a waste of hours.

This

Linking Words

essay intends to discuss both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

views and will reach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a subsequent conclusion

why

Change preposition

as to why

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I consider the idiot box

Wrong verb form

to be

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a source of entertainment.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the advent of technology and globalization has made the world, materialistic and their schedules busy.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they hardly get any time for entertainment, but it is

television

Use synonyms

that is

Linking Words

there to make a change in their boring and hectic schedules.

For example

Linking Words

, there are countless entertaining programs with different genres like comedy, news, daily soaps and discoveries around the world.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it serves the purpose of all categories and

also

Linking Words

keeps

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people updated with the happenings around the world.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some masses believe that it makes time futile because people spend their time watching

televisions

Fix the agreement mistake

television

show examples

and keep on procrastinating

the

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apply

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crucial things. Thence,

this

Linking Words

brings instability in their

decision making

Add a hyphen

decision-making

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power and affects them physically and emotionally.

For instance

Linking Words

, addiction to

television

Use synonyms

becomes so bad that they sometimes end up being

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

couch

potato

Fix the agreement mistake

potatoes

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, making

television

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

an inseparable twin is creating

such

Linking Words

adverse effects that it lowers the productivity of the person.

To conclude

Linking Words

television

Use synonyms

as always,

been

Add a missing verb

has been

show examples

transmitting information in both audio and video format. I believe that viewing it for a certain limit can act as an entertainer and educator.

This

Linking Words

essay discussed how

positive

Change the word

positively

show examples

it is acting as a stress-buster and

also

Linking Words

discussed that misuse can lead to

sluggish

Correct article usage

a sluggish

show examples

life.

Thu Oct 10 2019

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Task Achievement

The introduction could be made clearer by directly stating your opinion in a more straightforward manner, rather than indicating that both views will be discussed before revealing your stance at the end of the paragraph.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your examples are specific to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning particular TV shows or genres that serve educational purposes could enhance the relevance of your examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Some of the phrases you used could be simplified for better clarity. For instance, 'the purpose of all categories' could be rephrased to 'appeals to a wide range of audiences.'

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider using more linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between points and to reinforce the structure of your essay, like 'however,' 'furthermore,' or 'in addition.'

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay addresses both views before providing a conclusion, which is a good strategy for displaying critical thinking.

Task Achievement

You provided some relevant examples of television's impact on entertainment and education, which is important for supporting your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

relaxation
entertainment
unwind
diverse tastes
documentaries
educational programs
excessive
physical activity
social interaction
inappropriate content
selective
moderated
leisure time
pursuing hobbies
engaging
fulfilling
productive

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Some people believe that watching TV is good and makes life more enjoyable. Others, however, feel that it is a waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which cause many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to enourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that the latest technology is creating a divide between rich and poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people choose to travel alone. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.