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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays parents are sending their children to trips abroad for educational purpose. What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

#parents #children #trips #purpose
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In recent years, children or adolescents have studied overseas with their parents sending for decades.
This
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 tendency tends to their children to achieve higher academic levels for pursuing interaction all around the world,
while
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 they are homesick currently.
This
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 essay will expound on both views and provide relevant examples.
First,
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one of the pros of development about the statement is that provides a better environment for learning new languages. When some youngsters study in foreign countries, they have to be in English or a new language to communicate with foreigners.
For instance
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, in my city, more than 10% of adults, tend to apply to other nations' educational institutions for their children learning per year.
This
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 way can contribute that they easily interact with different people and do not hesitate in conversation. Despite there has advantage aforementioned, the disadvantages are significant. The majority of the cons development is that international students are homesick easily.
For example
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, international students have moved to different countries for study owing to the contribution of pursuing
further
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 careers. Unfortunately, there have been much more than 10% of homesick cases, which resulted in going back to their own countries for meditation and medication.
Therefore
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, if those have a family base or accompany them,
this
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 way can have to support them easily whenever in need. In conclusion, based on the statements above, one of the advantages is to interact with foreigners effectively,
whereas
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 the disadvantage is that international learners are homesick currently.
Thus
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, a knit-closed family base is essential for them to keep in study overseas.
Submitted by jimmy.wong.wp on

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coherence cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within that paragraph support that idea. Use cohesive devices like transition words appropriately to show the relationships between ideas.
task achievement
For Task Achievement, expand on your main points with more focused examples and explanations. Make sure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt in a balanced way, and that your conclusion summarizes the main points of your argument effectively.
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