IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#meat #health
We see an increasing number of people who prefer the vegetables over the
meat
. Almost everyone is proud to share
this
 information through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social services nowadays, but as we may know from our ancestors diversity in the
ration
Correct your spelling
ratio
show examples
 is crucial for
surviving
Replace the word
survival
show examples
. So, let's discuss in detail whether is good or not to be a vegetarian. Consuming a lot of red
meat
 can cause
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of diseases. It
supports
Wrong verb form
is supported
show examples
 by
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 modern researches showing us a positive correlation between the
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 rate of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
red
meat
 and the rate of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cancer diseases. Through these
works
Add a comma
works,
show examples
 researchers are trying to tell us that we should decrease the amount of red
meat
 in our daily diet and include more plant-based meals. So, if we believe in
this
, it looks like if we decrease the amount of
meat
 we would stay healthy for a longer period of our life. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the results of the previous experiments we don'
t
 have any
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 that
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
plant-based
Correct article usage
a plant-based
show examples
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
diet. It doesn'
t
 look like having only the plants on our kitchen table is good either. And it is likely true. We shouldn'
t
 exclude all animal-based products from our ration. We can easily get problems with our health because of it.
Also
, if you are doing a lot of exercises it is really hard to grow a muscle mass without
protein based
Add a hyphen
protein-based
show examples
 nutrition. I think that full denial from
meat
 can'
t
 be a good thing for us.
Balance
Add an article
The balance
A balance
show examples
 between plant-based and animal-based nutrition is important.
Submitted by teh.ld86 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • chronic diseases
  • balanced diet
  • nutritional deficiencies
  • plant-based diet
  • ethical concerns
  • environmental impact
  • deforestation
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable
  • Vitamin B12
  • processed meat substitutes
  • social and cultural implications
  • mitigate
  • full-time vegetarian
  • plant-based options
  • health benefits
  • commit to vegetarianism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: