IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

🔶Nowadays museums and historical sites are visited mainly by foreign tourists rather than by locals. 🔸Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more often?

It is true that these days the majority of tourists visiting museums and historical
tourist
Use synonyms
 attractions are foreigners, not the local ones.
This
Linking Words
 situation, in my view, seems to stem both from marketing policies and poor appealing of some
showplaces
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, there are some possible approaches to rectify the situation. It appears that there are two primary grounds for
this
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 trend.
First
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,
travel
Use synonyms
 agencies have mostly concentrated on foreign people than locals so that they can make more profit.
For example
Linking Words
, plenty of Iranians are bombarded eve
ryday wi
Suggestion
every day
th SMSs which contain a wide range of abroad
travel
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 offers. The main reason behind
this
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 is that travelling to a foreign country is associated with various needed services
such
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 as booking the hotel, flight and so forth, all of which are provided by
travel
Use synonyms
 agencies, leading to more revenue for them.
Second
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, most of tourists would like to visit
tourist
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 attractions that they have not visited earlier. A person,
for instance
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, who has visited the national museum, prefers to
travel
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 to a foreign country, like France, to see new ones. Turing to possible solutions, the
first
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 remedy can be advertising local
showplaces
Use synonyms
 to encourage inh
abitants to
Suggestion
the inhabitants
 visit these places. Simply put, the more people are aware of local museums and
showplaces
Use synonyms
, the more these places will be visited by them. To illustrate, I had never visited Sultania Dom, a historic building located in the North-West of my country, Iran, until I motivated by a glamorous documentary about
this
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 on the national TV.
In addition
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, if aut
horities ma
Suggestion
the authorities
de
tourist
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 attractions more appealing by employing different arts, local individuals will probably visit these places more than once only. Take a museum having a live music in its background as an example; more people will highly likely attend
this
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 place because of its versatile function. In conclusion, it is clear that there are several reasons behind the discussed trend and,
this
Linking Words
 situation can be ameliorated through promoting
tourist
Use synonyms
 attractions by local media and implementing other arts to make the unw
elcomed
not welcome; not giving pleasure or received with pleasure
unwelcome
showplaces
Use synonyms
 more desirable.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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