Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Music

Use synonyms

is a powerful element, especially for communicating with people from different backgrounds. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I agree with

this

Linking Words

viewpoint, and I will specifically explain my reasons as follows. One primary reason is that

music

Use synonyms

can facilitate cultural exchange. In modern society, the public can utilize apps

such

Linking Words

as KKBOXX, Spotify, and other types of musical software to listen to foreign

music

Use synonyms

. At the same time, individuals can learn exotic rhymes, tones, and information, which composers hope to present.

In addition

Linking Words

, some people are indeed enthusiastic about attending concerts. Concerts by singers

such

Linking Words

as Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, and other famous singers undoubtedly can appeal to many diverse backgrounds of audiences.

Therefore

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

is a powerful element to connect with distinct humans. Another robust reason is that

music

Use synonyms

may have more chances to break aged barriers. From my personal experience, I was a guitar dub leader when I was a sophomore. At that time, I usually visited nursing homes and communicated with the elderly because of my club plan.

Although

Linking Words

there indeed exist some generation gaps, with guitar, the barriers were reduced.

Additionally

Linking Words

, I shared a significant amount of musical information, particularly fingerstyle, which contains numerous skulls of musical instruments

such

Linking Words

as drum and bass.

Consequently

Linking Words

, the elderly were grasped by these skills, gradually sharing their

opinins

Correct your spelling

opinions

with

music

Use synonyms

. Despite the fact that there still are certain gaps,

this

Linking Words

phenomenon has alleviated substantially.

To sum up

Linking Words

, I firmly agree that

music

Use synonyms

can provide many benefits,

in particular

Linking Words

culture and ages. Individuals can interact with foreign cultures through social media and concerts. Simultaneously,

music

Use synonyms

can

also

Linking Words

have a breakthrough in aged barriers.

While

Linking Words

these obstacles cannot be solved radically, it has been alleviated significantly by some musical instruments

such

Linking Words

as the guitar.

daniellin0717Wed Jul 24 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While the essay addresses the topic well, consider providing more detailed examples and explanations to fully support your main points. This can help in conveying clear and comprehensive ideas.

coherence cohesion

Work on ensuring smoother transitions between points and paragraphs to improve the logical structure of the essay. This can be achieved through employing more linking words and phrases.

coherence cohesion

Pay closer attention to grammatical accuracy and expression. This can greatly enhance the clarity and readability of the essay, thus improving overall coherence and cohesion.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction is clear and presents a strong stance on the topic. It effectively sets the stage for the subsequent arguments.

relevant specific examples

The essay provides relevant and specific examples that support the main points, which is a strong aspect of task achievement.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In some countries, a high proportion of crime is done by teenagers. Why is this? What can be done to solve this?
It is true that the rate of juvenile crime is high in certain countries. This writer believes that this is because of poor parental upbringing and adverse financial situation, while this can be addressed by the provision of free education.
5
band
Nowadays, education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries. However, this trend has its detractors. Do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Studying internationally has increasingly become more popular in recent times. Some argue this has certain benefits, while other disagree. In this essay, I will discuss the statement and give my opinion on it
6.5
band
Today in many countries in order to find work people have to move away from their friends and family. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Recently, in many nations, individuals had to move away from their relatives and family in order to find jobs. In this essay, I will explain why the benefits of leave to earn occupation overshadow the potential drawbacks.
7
band
Individuals frequently opt to watch foreign movies instead of local ones. However, though I vehemently agree with such a statement, I believe that the government should provide economic incentives to bolster national film industries.
To commence, a plethora of factors contribute to why people prefer to watch international films rather than local movies. Firstly, foreign movies offer substantially better qualities, as they have cutting-edge technologies and renowned production companies as well as leading film crews, including directors. Hence, these can dramatically enhance the movie outcome, as these supporting indicators are indispensable in producing high-quality film. Additionally, international movies are played by notable actresses, which are recognized all over the world. Therefore, people choose those movies because they can see their favourite actors on screen, and people are more likely to acknowledge international actresses than locals.
4.5
band
Environmental problems are increasing in developing countries. what are some possible solutions for this issue
Many developing countries have faced air and water pollution because of industry and construction. Using solar and wild energy and taking some steps to improve air quality through filtrations could be optimal solutions for this issue.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries, a high proportion of crime is done by teenagers. Why is this? What can be done to solve this?

Nowadays, education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries. However, this trend has its detractors. Do you agree or disagree with the above statement?

Today in many countries in order to find work people have to move away from their friends and family. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Individuals frequently opt to watch foreign movies instead of local ones. However, though I vehemently agree with such a statement, I believe that the government should provide economic incentives to bolster national film industries.

Environmental problems are increasing in developing countries. what are some possible solutions for this issue