Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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Music

Use synonyms

is a powerful element, especially for communicating with people from different backgrounds. In

this

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essay, I agree with

this

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viewpoint, and I will specifically explain my reasons as follows. One primary reason is that

music

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can facilitate cultural exchange. In modern society, the public can utilize apps

such

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as KKBOXX, Spotify, and other types of musical software to listen to foreign

music

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. At the same time, individuals can learn exotic rhymes, tones, and information, which composers hope to present.

In addition

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, some people are indeed enthusiastic about attending concerts. Concerts by singers

such

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as Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, and other famous singers undoubtedly can appeal to many diverse backgrounds of audiences.

Therefore

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music

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is a powerful element to connect with distinct humans. Another robust reason is that

music

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may have more chances to break aged barriers. From my personal experience, I was a guitar dub leader when I was a sophomore. At that time, I usually visited nursing homes and communicated with the elderly because of my club plan.

Although

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there indeed exist some generation gaps, with guitar, the barriers were reduced.

Additionally

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, I shared a significant amount of musical information, particularly fingerstyle, which contains numerous skulls of musical instruments

such

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as drum and bass.

Consequently

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, the elderly were grasped by these skills, gradually sharing their

opinins

Correct your spelling

opinions

with

music

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. Despite the fact that there still are certain gaps,

this

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phenomenon has alleviated substantially.

To sum up

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, I firmly agree that

music

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can provide many benefits,

in particular

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culture and ages. Individuals can interact with foreign cultures through social media and concerts. Simultaneously,

music

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can

also

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have a breakthrough in aged barriers.

While

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these obstacles cannot be solved radically, it has been alleviated significantly by some musical instruments

such

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as the guitar.

Submitted by daniellin0717 on Wed Jul 24 2024

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task achievement

While the essay addresses the topic well, consider providing more detailed examples and explanations to fully support your main points. This can help in conveying clear and comprehensive ideas.

coherence cohesion

Work on ensuring smoother transitions between points and paragraphs to improve the logical structure of the essay. This can be achieved through employing more linking words and phrases.

coherence cohesion

Pay closer attention to grammatical accuracy and expression. This can greatly enhance the clarity and readability of the essay, thus improving overall coherence and cohesion.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction is clear and presents a strong stance on the topic. It effectively sets the stage for the subsequent arguments.

relevant specific examples

The essay provides relevant and specific examples that support the main points, which is a strong aspect of task achievement.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks.

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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. What is your opinion