Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Music
is a powerful element, especially for communicating with people from different backgrounds. In
this
essay, I agree with
this
viewpoint, and I will specifically explain my reasons as follows. One primary reason is that
music
can facilitate cultural exchange. In modern society, the public can utilize apps
such
as KKBOXX, Spotify, and other types of musical software to listen to foreign
music
. At the same time, individuals can learn exotic rhymes, tones, and information, which composers hope to present.
In addition
, some people are indeed enthusiastic about attending concerts. Concerts by singers
such
as Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, and other famous singers undoubtedly can appeal to many diverse backgrounds of audiences.
Therefore
,
music
is a powerful element to connect with distinct humans. Another robust reason is that
music
may have more chances to break aged barriers. From my personal experience, I was a guitar dub leader when I was a sophomore. At that time, I usually visited nursing homes and communicated with the elderly because of my club plan.
Although
there indeed exist some generation gaps, with guitar, the barriers were reduced.
Additionally
, I shared a significant amount of musical information, particularly fingerstyle, which contains numerous skulls of musical instruments
such
as drum and bass.
Consequently
, the elderly were grasped by these skills, gradually sharing their
opinins
Correct your spelling
opinions
with
music
. Despite the fact that there still are certain gaps,
this
phenomenon has alleviated substantially.
To sum up
, I firmly agree that
music
can provide many benefits,
in particular
culture and ages. Individuals can interact with foreign cultures through social media and concerts. Simultaneously,
music
can
also
have a breakthrough in aged barriers.
While
these obstacles cannot be solved radically, it has been alleviated significantly by some musical instruments
such
as the guitar.
Submitted by daniellin0717 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic well, consider providing more detailed examples and explanations to fully support your main points. This can help in conveying clear and comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring smoother transitions between points and paragraphs to improve the logical structure of the essay. This can be achieved through employing more linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Pay closer attention to grammatical accuracy and expression. This can greatly enhance the clarity and readability of the essay, thus improving overall coherence and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and presents a strong stance on the topic. It effectively sets the stage for the subsequent arguments.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides relevant and specific examples that support the main points, which is a strong aspect of task achievement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: