Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both view and give your own opinion

While some believe that parents should advise their children to participate in disciplinary activities while they are enjoying pastime, others argue that children should be allowed to learn on their own style. In
this
essay, I will highlight both issues and show my support for the former view.
To begin
with, adolescents may choose
wrong path
Suggestion
the wrong path
a wrong path
if they are allowed to do anything based on their free will.
This
is because their body and mind are not shaped enough to take or perform any job decently.
Therefore
, they need supervision of adults.
For example
, in
this
high tech era, these youngsters are often given smartphones to watch
cartoon
Suggestion
cartoons
. It is not so uncommon that they might face any inappropriate content that will be extremely detrimental to their health. Well, of course they may have the right to play games or
cartoons but
Accept comma addition
cartoons, but
, If gadgets are given under parental control
,
Accept space
,
they would not view any harmful contents.
On the other hand
, I believe that that the youths of today should be guided to enjoy their leisure
time
with adult supervision which will prepare them for the real world.
For instance
, on a recent survey, CNN has published that 66%
youngers
used of the younger of two persons of the same name especially used to distinguish a son from his father
younger
are
tend
Suggestion
tending
to become addicted
to play
Suggestion
to playing
video games while they are alone or in free
time
which pose a serious threat for their
eye sight
normal use of the faculty of vision
eyesight
.
In addition
, for being addicted
with
Suggestion
to
modern gadgets, they hardly can give attention to their studies. If parents can set them how they should spend their free moments
,
Accept space
,
their
time
could be more productive
.
Accept space
.
To conclude, after a careful review of these both views we/I can emphasize on the fact that it is essential for care givers for their offspring to give them guideline how they should spend their leisure
time
activities.
Thus
, they might be protected from the modern negative cultures
such
as being addicted to internet games and so on.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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