IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people think that internet has brought people closer together, while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
There is no doubt that the fat children’s proportion is raising highly nowadays specially in developed nations. The question is, will it
last
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 if countries get rid of fast-food restaurants? Or it is due to parent behaviours?
Body paragraph 1
In
this
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 essay, I am going to divide my opinion and draw my own conclusion.
Body paragraph 2
In terms of causes, changing of perceptions is one of the prominent problems. The principal reason given to support
this
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 claim is that factor which producing incorrect formula of marketing.
Body paragraph 3
To illustrate, McDonalds is one of the leading examples which increased sufficiently overweight.
Furthermore
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, providing people their orders at midnight.
Body paragraph 4
In other words
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, the more distributes the more nations eat, that causes ignites of overeating between each others.
Subsequently
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, a massive lack of harmful habit in public.
Body paragraph 5
However
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,
on the other hand
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, others complain that parenting remains the thing to accuse. In the
first
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 place, family of overweight kids impacts them on what they are teaching them. Put differently, they should get motivated whenever they completed a vast movement like eating healthy.
Body paragraph 6
Secondly
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, incentive them stop having overeaten as a habit, start to induce them with eating less.
Body paragraph 7
Also
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, trying to advise them how to cater their own needs by themselves could effect easily.
For example
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, put a limited menu of one week to see the difference.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 kids nowadays enjoy going to fast-food outlets more than eating homemade food.
Therefore
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, I believe parenting is the most to blame. It is their personal responsibility to properly take care of their offspring's health.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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