IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people think having enough money brings happiness but others think too much money can bring problems. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #happiness
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Money
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
 in today's
life
Use synonyms
 . Even though many nationals are earning
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
six figures, they are still not satisfied with it. I agree to
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
 that
money
Use synonyms
 is important for
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 but it is not everything in
life
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 it is
obivious
Correct your spelling
obvious
 that without
money
Use synonyms
 one can not lead a decent
life
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
 globalization
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
the lifestyle
show examples
 of netizens
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 changing and they need a handsome amount of
moeny
Correct your spelling
money
 to lead a
comforable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
life
Use synonyms
. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 individuals have to keep a decent bank balance in order to support their family members and during any
emmergency
Correct your spelling
emergency
 situation. For many people earning
Use synonyms
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
 brings
solance
Correct your spelling
solace
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them. They are happy as long as they have
Use synonyms
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
 in their
possesion
Correct your spelling
possession
. The fact is even
an
Correct word choice
if an
show examples
 individual has
Use synonyms
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
 with him he can buy a very big house but he can't buy a home. He can buy a very good bed but not sleep. It makes a man too greedy and he is in never
ending
Verb problem
never-ending
show examples
 loop for earning to improve his bank balance and
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. More ever when an individual
earn
Change the verb form
earns
show examples
 a hefty amount of
money
Use synonyms
 his
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 changes and there
coule
Correct your spelling
could
 be a chance that he will create
Use synonyms
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of enemies within the family and within the society he resides. There are chances of danger to his
life
Use synonyms
 as well. There are numerous benefits of having
hefty
Add an article
a hefty
show examples
 amount of
money
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 in my opinion
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 better to lead a happy with less
money
Use synonyms
 than
leading
Change the verb form
to lead
show examples
 a miserable
life
Use synonyms
 with
Use synonyms
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rakesh.cp on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • subjective
  • universally
  • cultural differences
  • psychological factors
  • satisfaction with life
  • emotional balance
  • personal achievements
  • social connections
  • fulfilling relationships
  • sense of belonging
  • sense of purpose
  • physical health
  • well-being
  • financial stability
  • mindfulness
  • gratitude
  • positive thinking
What to do next:
Look at other essays: