You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter: • introduce yourself • say why you are interested in this sports club • ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, members,costs

#course #college #sports #facilities #manager #club #questions #e #g #members #costs

Dear Sir/Madam I am writing to inquire about your

sports

club

, which I recently discovered through advertisements in the local broadsheet.

Initially

,let me introduce myself : My name is Jasmine. Recently,I have started a

course

at a

college

near your

sports

club

. I thought I would train after lessons in

sports

facilities.

However

was wondered

Wrong verb form

am wondering

show examples

due to

this

college

has no

sports

facilities of its own. I started a

course

this

college

because I thought it would have

sports

facilities.

Then

,I saw

Correct your spelling

show examples

advertisements

Fix the agreement mistake

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

your

sports

club

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the broadsheet

show examples

broadsheet

Capitalize word

Broadsheet

show examples

and

fortunately

Add a comma

fortunately,

show examples

it was near my

college

. I was so glad that I

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

found

private

Correct article usage

a private

show examples

sports

club

. I

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

one part of my day in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college

and after

Add an article

the course

show examples

course

Add a comma

course,

show examples

I need to relax. I do

sports

for relaxing

Change preposition

to relax

show examples

. So, your

sports

club

is the best choice for me. I would like to know more about your

sports

club

. The number of members currently in the

club

and the types of activities they typically do. I want to find a friend in your

club

Lastly

,I would like to know more about the costs

Change preposition

show examples

your

club

. Because these days I have some financial problems and I am afraid that I can not afford

this

course

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to your response. Yours faithfully, Jasmine

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Sat Aug 10 2024

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single idea per paragraph

Make sure to clearly separate different ideas into distinct paragraphs to enhance readability.

logical structure

Try to avoid minor grammatical errors to improve clarity and professionalism.

complete response

The introduction of yourself and the reason why you are interested in the sports club are clearly stated.

suitable writing tone

The letter maintains a polite and formal tone throughout.

greeting and closing

The letter starts with an appropriate greeting and closes with a polite farewell.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

222 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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