Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

According to some person,

primary mode

Suggestion

the primary mode

to be happy in life is to have more

money

. In

this

world, there are things we can buy with paying

money

but, at the same time, there are things that we will never be able to get thought we are a millionaire. We can make our self-happy if we have a lot of

money

because with

money

, we can easily purchase things what we want to like an expensive car branded clothes and much more and with enough

money

we can give our children and our life partner a good lifestyle or

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

their needs.

Furthermore

, if you have more

money

you can

also

support your family if in case of medical emergency life expensive surgery or any other illness so you can easily afford

this

expense. On the other hands, we can make

our-self

second person pronoun; the person addressed

you

yourself

ourselves

happy without

money

and the things that we never buy with

money

that is

the love of your parents your kids. My parents were not

to a degree exceeding normal or proper limits

too

rich when I was a kid, they can afford our basic needs. I desire to get toys and pretty dresses like my other friends had but my parents did not afford to buy them. I was disappointed at that

time but

Accept comma addition

time, but

my parents bought me up with unlimited love and care they become my best friend to listen to me and when I was in trouble, they helped me.

As a result

, my childhood was happy and I grew up having a positive way of thinking

instead

of complaining about the things my parents could not buy for me. In conclusion with my experience, Happiness always depends on our mindset and it is always subjective to change if the amount of

money

is considered a lot or

little

Suggestion

a little

. By focusing on what we have on our hands now and drive to achieve what we want to gain we can always be happy.

Submitted by groupefs556 on Mon Oct 14 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

320 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The free movement of goods across national borders has long been a controversial issue. Some people argue that it is necessary for economic growth, while others claim that it damages local industries.

Nowadays people normally stretch their working hours and get stressed than before. What are the reasons for this? What employers can do to make people's life easier?

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. Do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

Students do not respect teachers as much as they did in the past. Do you agree or desagree?

Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development？