People nowadays are not fit and active than the people from the olden days. Discuss the causes for this situation and suggest some possible solutions.

#people #situation

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It has been observed that people of

this

Linking Words

age are not as fit and active as

people

Suggestion

the people

that lived some decades ago.

Meanwhile there

Accept comma addition

Meanwhile, there

are some factors responsible for

this

Linking Words

trend, few of which will be discussed and the possible solutions will be stated

also

Linking Words

. One of the reasons why we have less fit and less active people now compared with the past is the nature of jobs that people are doing in the

recently

Suggestion

recent

times. A large number of people sit in the office from morning till evening working with the computer systems. The advancement in technology has deprived a lot of people from engaging in

works

Suggestion

the works

that involve physical activities and

as a result

Linking Words

, made most people less active and less fit. Some examples of

such

Linking Words

jobs that involve limited physical movements are customer service jobs

tellering

a shoot that sprouts from the base of a grass

tillering

tailoring

, secretary, teaching, accounting, e.t.c.

Meanwhile many

Accept comma addition

Meanwhile, many

people are involved in jobs like farming, fishing, trading which involved a lot physically activities in the past and

this

Linking Words

made them to be more active and fit. Another factor responsible for less active and less fit people nowadays is nature of foods that are now being consumed. Most people hardly have enough time to prepare healthy food and

as a result

Linking Words

eat so many canned foods which contain preservatives and some other chemicals that are injurious to the health.

This

Linking Words

had made quite a number of people to be

obessed

having or showing excessive or compulsive concern with something

obsessed

abused

obese

hence

Linking Words

, reducing how active and how fit people now are. A recent statistic shows that three out of every four persons are

obessed

used improperly or excessively especially drugs

abused

in the United States of America.

This

Linking Words

was not the case some 50 years ago when people had time to

prepared

Suggestion

prepare

healthy meals. In order to reverse

this

Linking Words

trend and increase the actives and fitness of

people

Suggestion

the people

of the present, it is suggested that people should visit the gym to work out on

regular basis

Suggestion

a regular basis

, probably, 3 to 4 times in a week. It is

also

Linking Words

advised that people should start to create time to cook and eat healthy foods and

also

Linking Words

consciously watch their Body Mass Index (BMI). I believe that if

this

Linking Words

can be done religiously,

people

Suggestion

the people

this

Linking Words

age can become as active and fit as people of the olden age.

Submitted by Mabel on Tue Oct 15 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

373 words

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People nowadays are not fit and active than the people from the olden days. Discuss the causes for this situation and suggest some possible solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the teenagers years are the happiest times pf most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people say that we should not encourage sport games among schools because they lead to competition rather than cooperation. To what extend do you agree or disagree with?