IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Adults do less exercise nowadays. Some people thi it that people can be encouraged to live healthy lives through sporting events such as Olympics and World cups. Others think that there are better ways to encourage adults to do exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#adults #exercise #people #thi #lives #events #olympics #world #cups
Certainly, these days s adults have completely neglected to
exercise
 in their lives. It is believed by some people that grownups can live healthy lives by taking part in global sports competitions. Whereas others consider more effective approaches to encourage them to
exercise
. In my opinion, There are definitely various effective ways to attract adults towards exercising
such
 as through campaigns and free gymnasiums at workplaces. Many adults easily get inspired and impressed by their favourite sports players they watch on television. Most of them have achieved an athletic physique after non-stop exercises and several physical activities and have the tendency to perform continuously.
However
, for others participating in sports events like World Cups or Olympics can be quite demanding as they require players to have great physical stamina, time commitment and muscular endurance.
For instance
, working professionals do not have extra time and energy left after 9 hours of continuous work.
Therefore
, they end up spending rest of their day on a couch and are living a monotonous life. People could be propelled to be physically active if the government runs campaigns by promoting the benefits of exercising. To illustrate, Pakistan’s Prime Minister Imran Khan launches “fit and obese free Pakistan” where he shared his
exercise
 routine behind his fitness and strong personality.
Consequently
, a lot of his followers started to actively follow his steps.
Also
, I think working individuals should be surrounded with a supportive and propelling environment.
For example
, organizations can open free gymnasiums for their employees, so they can be motivated and start their day with workouts. To conclude, as mentioned above, there are better ways to push adults to
exercise
 than participating in worldwide sports games which require time, dedication, non-stop struggle and physical strength,
hence
 which is not everyone’s cup of tea.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: