IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #choices #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decision
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to some people, children should be allowed to decide what they should eat, wear or watch.
However
Linking Words
, others opine that if children have the freedom to make their own choices, they will grow up into selfish individuals. In my opinion, children should definitely have the liberty to make their own decisions;
however
Linking Words
, since they are too young to understand what is good or bad for them, parents should help them make the right decisions. It is important for a child to learn how to make decisions regarding his lifestyle or future career as decision making is an important skill for success in life. When he is allowed to make his own choices he will learn to take the responsibility for his actions.
This
Linking Words
 is another skill required for success. Needless to say, a child who takes small decisions right from his childhood can deal with the conflicts and challenges in life more efficiently.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, when children have total freedom to make their own choices, they may fail to consider the feelings of others.
For example
Linking Words
, a child may insist that he should be able to watch cartoons whenever he wants to. He may not consider what other members of the family want to watch on TV. If his parents allow him to have his way all the way, he will definitely grow into a selfish person who does not care for others. It is,
therefore
Linking Words
, important for parents to set the limits of the freedom their children can have. In conclusion, I believe that even though children should be allowed to make their own choices, parents should teach them to respect the feelings of others;
otherwise
Linking Words
, they may end up becoming selfish.
Submitted by patelzeel999.zp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: