As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Health is an essential thing that people have to sustain.
Linking Words
However in
Accept comma addition
However, in
these days, the invention of
technology
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as the
computer
Use synonyms
and television has been influenced some people, especially in their healthy life. A lack of exercise is a detrimental effect of the innovation.
Although
Linking Words
the
technology
Use synonyms
is appropriate to ease human activities, I utterly believe that sedentary activity
such
Linking Words
as watching
screen
Use synonyms
can lead people to suffer
obesity
Use synonyms
.
Technology
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as
Use synonyms
computer
Suggestion
computers
the computer
and television give many benefits for humans.
Firstly
Linking Words
, people can know the information quickly by watching television since there are many channels that show about daily news either in the national area or in the worldwide.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
computer
Use synonyms
supports the inhabitants in working
such
Linking Words
as making all
kind
Suggestion
kinds
of duty on it.
This
Linking Words
is due to the fact that most people tend to type in the
computer
Use synonyms
rather than
hand-writing
something written by hand
handwriting
handwritten
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
screen
Suggestion
the screen
and the
computer
Use synonyms
may become essential equipment that people always used.
However
Linking Words
, as a matter of fact, many people can suffer
obesity
Use synonyms
since they spend a long time watching the
screen
Use synonyms
and utilizing
computer
Use synonyms
while they
also
Linking Words
eat lots of diets. It can make people sitting whole day and inadvertently, they can suffer
obesity
Use synonyms
since they forget to practice some exercises to make their body fit. Another disease that can occur is sightless since the layer of
Use synonyms
screen
Suggestion
the screen
and the
computer
Use synonyms
can radiate the eyes of viewers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the eyes will get tired easily and for a harmful case, it will be blindness for
human's eyes
Suggestion
a human's eyes
.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is better to reduce the amount of time
that is
Linking Words
expended in using the
screen
Use synonyms
and the
computer
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
the latest
technology
Use synonyms
can helpful for
human's life
Suggestion
the human's life
in certain activities, I believe that it will get risky for
people
Suggestion
peoples'
peoples
health
such
Linking Words
as
obesity
Use synonyms
and blindness. Where possible, health is a vital element of life, so respect it by avoiding using the
technology
Use synonyms
in much time.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: