As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Health is an essential thing that people have to sustain.

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However in

Accept comma addition

However, in

these days, the invention of

technology

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such

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as the

computer

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and television has been influenced some people, especially in their healthy life. A lack of exercise is a detrimental effect of the innovation.

Although

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the

technology

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is appropriate to ease human activities, I utterly believe that sedentary activity

such

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as watching

screen

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can lead people to suffer

obesity

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Technology

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such

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Use synonyms

computer

Suggestion

computers

the computer

and television give many benefits for humans.

Firstly

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, people can know the information quickly by watching television since there are many channels that show about daily news either in the national area or in the worldwide.

Secondly

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, the

computer

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supports the inhabitants in working

such

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as making all

kind

Suggestion

kinds

of duty on it.

This

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is due to the fact that most people tend to type in the

computer

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rather than

hand-writing

something written by hand

handwriting

handwritten

Finally

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Use synonyms

screen

Suggestion

the screen

and the

computer

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may become essential equipment that people always used.

However

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, as a matter of fact, many people can suffer

obesity

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since they spend a long time watching the

screen

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and utilizing

computer

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while they

also

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eat lots of diets. It can make people sitting whole day and inadvertently, they can suffer

obesity

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since they forget to practice some exercises to make their body fit. Another disease that can occur is sightless since the layer of

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screen

Suggestion

the screen

and the

computer

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can radiate the eyes of viewers.

Moreover

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, the eyes will get tired easily and for a harmful case, it will be blindness for

human's eyes

Suggestion

a human's eyes

As a result

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, it is better to reduce the amount of time

that is

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expended in using the

screen

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and the

computer

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. In conclusion,

although

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the latest

technology

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can helpful for

human's life

Suggestion

the human's life

in certain activities, I believe that it will get risky for

people

Suggestion

peoples'

peoples

health

such

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obesity

Use synonyms

and blindness. Where possible, health is a vital element of life, so respect it by avoiding using the

technology

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in much time.

Fri Oct 18 2019

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

IELTS 17 Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that getting a degree from a university is the best way to secure a good job. Others believe that employers value work experience more than a university degree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Newspapers have immense influence on people. why? Is it a positive or negative situation?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Having police officers patrolling the streets is often considered an essential way to to reduce crime. How effective do you think police street patrolling are?. What other ways to reduce crime can you purpose?