You live in a small university city town . Last week , you drove to a big city about two hours away to buy a new laptop at a good price . You worked on the laptop all week and finished writing a long assignment that is due shortly . However , this week the laptop doesn't even switch on . Write to the store. I your letter: • Tell the store where you live and what happened • Explain the problem with the laptop • State what action you would like the store to take

#university #city #town #week #two #hours #laptop #price #assignment #doesn #switch #store #action

Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with the laptop that I purchased from your store

last

week. I live in a small town , which is far away from your store. And I spent about two hours driving there,

due to

the fact that your shop is much cheaper than others. All week it was working properly without any defects.

However

this

morning when I was in a hurry to write an assignment, It did not even switch on. I was extremely disappointed because I needed it for my schoolwork.

Also

, I watched videos on YouTube to fix

this

issue, but I could not do it. I am displeased with the quality of

this

device. As I am unable to drive to your place, I demand that you send a repairman to solve

this

problem.

Furthermore

this

laptop should be repaired on Wednesday

this

week because of my essential project at school. I look forward to your reply and a resolution to my problem. Yours faithfully, Mohinur

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Fri Aug 02 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide a bit more detailed information about what exactly happened with the laptop to make your problem clearer.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to use transitional phrases to link your ideas smoothly from one paragraph to another.

coherence cohesion

Consider breaking down some complex sentences to enhance readability and reduce the possibility of grammatical errors.

task achievement

You effectively conveyed your dissatisfaction and explained the situation in a clear and concise manner.

greeting and closing

Your closing was polite and expressed a clear expectation for a resolution.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

172 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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