The chart below shows the number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 to 2000.

#travellers #three #airports #york #city

The bar chart illustrates the

number

of three major airports

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

being used by visitors in New York

city

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City

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from

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between

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1995 and 2000 In 1995, the

number

of passengers using John

F.Kennedy

Correct your spelling

F. Kennedy

were

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was

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more than 20

Add the preposition

ofmillions

show examples

millions

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million

show examples

people. The

number

was

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apply

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reached

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apply

show examples

millions

Change to singular

million

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in 1996, and

continure

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continue

increased

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to increase

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to nearly 50

millions

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million

show examples

passengers using

this

major airport in 1997. But John F.kennedy

haf

Correct your spelling

have

had

decreased in the

year – in 1998 . In 1999, there were about 32

millions

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million

show examples

people using

this

major. In 2000 , the

number

has blown up to 23

millions

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million

show examples

. The passenger using LaGuardia in 1995 was about 35

milions

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millions

million

miles

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apply

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and increased

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show examples

39 nukkuns in 1996. The

number

wasn’t down till 1997 , it’s

continue

Wrong verb form

continued

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reached

Change the form of the verb

reach

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

passengers . In 1998 , there were 48

millions

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million

show examples

traverllers

Correct your spelling

travellers

using LaGuardia , and the

number

had up to 50

millions

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million

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in 1999 and

Correct your spelling

raised

rose

rise

rised

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rose

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to nearly 70 million in 2000 Newark had 15

millions

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million

show examples

passenger in 1995, and the

number

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

increased to 25 million in 1996. IN 1997, there were 38

millions

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million

show examples

people using

this

major airport. The

number

Correct your spelling

rose

raised

rises

rised

Correct your spelling

rose

show examples

to 42

millions

Change to singular

million

show examples

in 1998, and

this

also

Add a missing verb

is also

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the

number

passenger

Change to a plural noun

passengers

show examples

using Newark in 1999 and 2000

Submitted by ganesha.gilcentre on Fri Oct 18 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Contractions: Don't use contractions.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, millions with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "rised" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

207 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

significant increase
highest number
steady increase
largest growth
dramatic
slowest growth
slight decrease
gradual increase
period
travelers
major airports
followed by

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The chart below shows the number of travellers using three major airports in New York City between 1995 to 2000.

The number of people who are fat and overweight are much higher than previous generations. What are the reasons? What can be done to solve those problems?

In many countries, it is common for families to own and run their own businesses. Some people think this is the best way to run a business, while others consider this a potential source of problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

Junk food advertising has a harmful effect on society and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?