Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures

Youngsters are in stress from being qualified, from society and commercial opinions. There are several reasons

lead

Suggestion

leads

to the issue and some actions can be done to address

this

High social expectation

Suggestion

The high social expectation

is one of the main reasons resulted in the children’s pressures. It is believed that young people holding a university degree

Suggestion

are

likely to secure a job with well

payment

Suggestion

paying

This

acquires social admiration and respect, which is a pride of parents. The youth,

then

need to force themselves to strive for qualifications by studying harder.

As a result

, children feel

overwhelm

Suggestion

overwhelmed

to achieve the targets which they might not actually want to.

Hence

, several in-depth conversations between parents, teachers and son and daughter should be taken to have a mutual understanding and

shared goal

Suggestion

shared goals

a shared goal

, of which both sides feel satisfied and set obtainable objectives in a short

timeframe

Suggestion

time frame

each time.

In addition

, if adults want children to be

success

Suggestion

successful

and meet expected achievement, they probably need to mentor their children with different approaches and gradually provide more practical skills and advices.

Therefore

, children can be physically and mentally developed with the help from parents and school. Another reason should be considered is that nowadays, there is an enormous growing advertisements solely aiming at selling company’s products, which obviously is an adverse effect on social assumption and expectation. Many brands

such

as Vina milk or Milo promoting that their products with DHA and other supplements will help children to be taller and

smatter

showing mental alertness and calculation and resourcefulness

smarter

. By spending money on these goods, community and especially parents desire a significant change of their children’s intellectual capacity, which in fact affected by many social factors.

Thus

, accidently commercial advertisements have been putting

pressures

Suggestion

pressure

on the future generation. It is clear that several reasons have caused offspring’s pressures and many solutions should be done to solve the issue.

Submitted by lulaluclacfamily on Fri Oct 18 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic pressure
globalized world
competitive education system
social media influences
cyberbullying
commercial pressures
aggressive marketing
materialistic desires
peer pressure
high expectations
standardized testing
quantifiable performance
stress and anxiety
extracurricular achievements

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Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Public libraries will soon no longer be housed in building as all facilites and books are available for all to access. What are the advantages and disadvantages of public libraries existing online?

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In recent years, ''responsible tourists'' have paid attention to preserving both culture and environment of the places they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a ''responsible tourist''. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People use the Internet for medical advice and to do medical check ups rather than directly meeting with doctors in an office. Why are they using the Internet for this? Is it a positive or a negative development?