IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You recently went on a business trip to another country and you faced an issue at the airport. Write a letter to the airport management and include what the details of your flight were. what the problem at the airport was. some suggestions for improvement. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

#business #trip #country #airport #management #flight #suggestions #improvement #sir #madam
Dear Sir or Madam,
This
 letter is to express my extreme dissatisfaction with the service at your airport. I was flying from Delhi to Vancouver on 23rd August 2024. I arrived
full
Correct article usage
a full
show examples
 three
hourse
Correct your spelling
hours
 before the scheduled time to ensure that I
catch
Wrong verb form
caught
show examples
 the flight on time. I must admit that the ground staff's control of commuters, especially queuing, is appalling.
People
 were freely jumping in and out of the line, and both the check-in staff and security did nothing to restore order when
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fight broke out between passengers. I would like to suggest that you place proper barriers with signposts
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 clearly visible to
people
, which states the correct way to form a line. At the same time, train your staff to prevent
people
 from breaking the rules. I understand that it is not in our culture to scold
people
, but international airports must meet international standards. I look forward to hearing your response. Kind Regards, Nilesh Majumdar
Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on

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task achievement
You did a good job in providing a complete response, but be mindful of ensuring all details are accurate and correctly spelt. For example, 'hourse' should be 'hours.'
coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, you could make the sequence of events slightly clearer. For example, state clearly the exact time of arrival and departure and the sequence order of events that took place at the airport.
task achievement
You maintained a suitable writing tone throughout the letter, which is appropriate for a formal business context.
coherence cohesion
You used paragraphs effectively to ensure each idea was contained clearly, making your letter easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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