It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schoolchildren #history #world

Teaching

history

for schoolchildren has been a heated topic

constantly

Suggestion

constant

. There is a common belief that local

history

is more important to children than

world

history

However

, I disagree with

this

belief. I believe the notion that local

history

is more valuable than

world

history

should be rejected. Some people may claim that the insights into the

localhistorical

Suggestion

local historical

values are

completely

Suggestion

complete

enough for one to live. Their claim could be true a few decades ago when most interpersonal communications were between people of the same race and origin.

However

this

view is now outdated, as the

world

has become globalised and international

businessand

Suggestion

business and

migrant workers have made any community a global village. In

this

context, an understanding of a foreign country’s

history

would enable future local workers to reinforce the relationship between them and

theexpatriates

Suggestion

the expatriates

from that country.

In addition

, I am strongly convinced that children would benefit the most only when the learning of local

history

is placed parallel to that of

world

history

. To understand a local historical event, children should put the regional and sometimes even

world

context

Suggestion

that historical era into consideration.

For example

, children should acknowledge that the event that Vietnam regained its independence after defeating the Japanese troops in Indochina in 1945 only happened after a series of relevant events in the

World

War II, one of which is the surrender of Japan to the Allies. In

this

way of learning, children would understand

history

more deeply

andthoroughly

Suggestion

and thoroughly

. All the existing data

has provided

Suggestion

have provided

a concrete foundation that the study of local

history

should always be parallel to that of

world

history

This

practice would guarantee that children learn

history

more comprehensively and be able to tighten the bond with migrant workers in their country.

Submitted by lulaluclacfamily on Sat Oct 19 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

heritage
cultural identity
ancestry
traditions
globalization
empathy
contemporary issues
integrate
perspective
civilization
diversity
innovations
historical significance
nationalism
cosmopolitanism
historiography
geopolitical

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It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Your Friend wants to send his/her children to your house for the weekend. Write a letter to him/her and say: - Agree to this arrangement - Say what time is suitable for you - Describe what are you planning to do

Some people believe that if a police officer carries guns, it can encourage a higher level of violence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some countries, women now are able to join the armed forces on equal basis with men. However, some people feel that only men should be members of the army, navy or Air Force. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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