Some people believe that success is about hard work and determination. Others think that success has a connection with money and personal appearance. Discuss both views. Give your opinion and some of your own experiences.

#people #success #work #determination #connection #money #appearance #experiences

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

People have different views about factors leading to people’s achievements. While I agree that material wealth and physical

appearance

Use synonyms

are essential, I believe that diligence and persistence are more significant. On the one hand, it is no doubt true that money and personal

appearance

Use synonyms

play a pivotal role in attaining accomplishments.

Firstly

Linking Words

, those who were born in affluent families typically have a good foundation for their development and prosperity.

For instance

Linking Words

, they could easily start their own business without borrowing money from the bank or have a better education, which allows them to get a secure job in the future.

Secondly

Linking Words

, nowadays, it often appears that attractive

appearance

Use synonyms

is of paramount importance to certain key sectors

such

Linking Words

as entertainment or fashion. Indeed, if a singer or a model is beautiful, it is possible for her to draw much attention from audiences and have greater opportunities to climb the social ladder.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I am of opinion that determined and industrious people are likely to have better chances of success. Perhaps the principal reason is that not everyone is fortunate enough to be born

Suggestion

into

wealthy families or to be beautiful, but by putting a great deal of effort, they could achieve their goals. The clearest example of

this

Linking Words

is that despite the absence of four limbs, Nick Vujicic learned to write

Suggestion

from

his mouth and successfully earned a bachelor degree with a double major; he is now a famous motivational speaker,

traveling

the act of going from one place to another

travelling

around the world to inspire the youth. The other reason is that

major success

Suggestion

a major success

seldom comes easily without perseverance. One of the notable examples is Thomas Edison, a well-known inventor, who conducted countless experiments and

also

Linking Words

failed thousands of times before eventually inventing the working light bulb In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

I acknowledge that money and personal

appearance

Use synonyms

significantly contribute to people’s success, I would argue that the role of being hard working and persistent is far more crucial.

Submitted by lulaluclacfamily on Sat Oct 19 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some people believe that giving aid to poorer countries has more negative effects than positive effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent decades, many people pay attention to the issue that providing development aid to developing countries has more negative influences than positive effects. I totally disagree with this point of view and I will discuss my opinion in the following passage.
6.5
band
It is important for everyone including young people, to save money for their future. What extant do you agree or disagree with tihs statement?
Saving money is a vital matter for financial security for all ages. Although it is hard to prioritise saving money , especially at a young age, this provides a lot of opportunities from emergencies to long-term advantages. Personally, I completely agree that saving money is important for both young and adults for future plans. This essay demonstrates firstly the significance of accumulating wealth for youngs followed by an analysis of the importance of this approach to money for adults.
4
band
It's important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?
It is a fact that it is necessary for kids to know the difference between true and false things at first age. Punishment is imprtant to help them in learning this distinction. I agree with this method.
7.5
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons…experience.
Some experts argue that children should begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than at secondary school. While both approaches have their merits, I believe that the advantages of starting at an early age far outweigh the disadvantages.
6
band
To what extent do you agree or disagree with the notion that changing one's perspective on stress can lead to a healthier response to life's challenges?” You should give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge to support your response.
In this stressful era, how to deal with stress has become an important lesson for people. While some people believe that no matter how we look to stress is still the same, I believe that if we change our point of view to stress, we will have a better and healthier life and more easily cope with stress.

Some people believe that success is about hard work and determination. Others think that success has a connection with money and personal appearance. Discuss both views. Give your opinion and some of your own experiences.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that giving aid to poorer countries has more negative effects than positive effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for everyone including young people, to save money for their future. What extant do you agree or disagree with tihs statement?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons…experience.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with the notion that changing one's perspective on stress can lead to a healthier response to life's challenges?” You should give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge to support your response.