IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

it is suggested that everyone should have a car, a television and a fridge. Do disadvantages of this development for society outweigh advantages?

#car #television #fridge #development #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that it is necessary for each person to possess an item of some fundamental needs for travelling, entertainment and food storage.
Linking Words
Although
Suggestion
Despite
 some clear benefits of
such
Linking Words
 development could be seen, they are, in my view, eclipsed by the considerable drawbacks. There are several advantages of having a private car,
TV
Use synonyms
 and
fridge
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
 of all, people who need to travel on a daily basis, especially those who live far away from
workplace
Suggestion
the workplace
, could stay active all the time thanks to the availability of their personal vehicle.
Secondly
Linking Words
, having a
TV
Use synonyms
 could be a perfect choice of recreation because it offers
a a
indefinite article, "an" is use before a vowel sound, "a" otherwise
a
 variety of channels,
such
Linking Words
 as Cartoon Network or HBO, to satisfy viewers’ personal preferences.
Finally
Linking Words
, when in possession of a
fridge
Use synonyms
, people would save a significant amount of time supposedly spent on shopping for food.
However
Linking Words
, the disadvantages of those personal possessions are much greater regarding both environmental and individual levels. To start with,
hypothetically if
Accept comma addition
hypothetically, if
 everyone had his own private form of transport, particularly cars, the emission of harmful exhaust which would be too difficult to measure would do grave harm to the environment. From an individual perspective, it would cost a legacy if every person insisted on purchasing his own
fridge
Use synonyms
 and
TV
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because property prices would certainly accelerate owing to the growth in customers’ demand for those commodities.
Also
Linking Words
 of great concern is the payment of expensive electric bills as fridges have to be plugged in all the time. In conclusion, despite a few beneficial aspects of having a car, a
TV
Use synonyms
 and a
fridge
Use synonyms
, the demerits are of greater significance from both individual and environmental angles.
Submitted by lulaluclacfamily on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: