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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Does being famous have more advantages or more disavantages?

#disavantages
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Nowadays, famous
people
Use synonyms
such
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 as singers or movie stars have great benefits in many different ways, but their fame can
also
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 have drawbacks. From my perspective, I think being well-known has more advantages than disadvantages. In
this
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 essay, I will explain two views
by
Change preposition
from
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 my own experience. On the one hand, the main one is that you do not have a private life. They often have to face the media and their fans or anti-fans about their personal lives.
Furthermore
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, unlike common
people
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, their work can become controversial, damaging their personal and professional image.
For instance
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, Lana Del Rey has contributed to the American music industry for more than 10 years but she is still not
regconized
Correct your spelling
recognized
recognised
 by the
people
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 and cannot receive the prestigious Grammy
cup
Capitalize word
Cup
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. The next drawback of being famous is that
people
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 and the media often say bad things to you.
People
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 even tell lies about you or your family.
Additionally
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, they tend to come under enormous pressure from the public, critics and industrial insiders.
As a result
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, they may be under big pressure to maintain their reputation and their image.
On the other hand
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, despite the disadvantages
told
Verb problem
mentioned
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 above, they might face many benefits.
Firstly
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, celebrities often have an important impact on society because their fans can monitor their behaviour and attitudes.
For example
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, when
people
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 speak up to raise positive change,
Correct word choice
and supporting
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supporting
Wrong verb form
support
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causes
Correct article usage
the causes
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 they believe in, they can influence public opinion.
Secondly
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, they can earn a lot of salary or from supporting
people
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 who like them and receive patronage from many brands in the world when they're participating in advertising.
Finally
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, they can use their fame and money to help good causes and call on
people
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 to do charity.
For instance
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, if you give money to charity , other
people
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 will do so too. In
this
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 way, they can make a big difference in the world.
To sum up
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, being famous brings many advantages and disadvantages to
people
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. In my opinion, I think that being well-known brings more benefits than
harms
Fix the agreement mistake
harm
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.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

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specific examples
Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. General or vague examples might not effectively illustrate your points.
logical flow
Ensure transitions between paragraphs are smooth to maintain a logical flow. Sometimes the essay jumps between ideas abruptly.
structure
You have a clear and structured response with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
balanced perspective
Your essay successfully addresses both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced perspective.
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