1. A lot of people who wanted to become professional athletes gave up this idea because of the fear of failure and parents' pressure. Do you think that parents should support their children who want to do a career in sports ?

Parents support has long been recognized as a serious problem by most families. Despite knowing about their c
hildrens
Suggestion
children's
ability and talent has been causing m
assive problem
Suggestion
massive problems
a massive problem
of their life.
This
essay will examine the main causes of parents why they did not support t
hier
of them or themselves
their
there
kids d
ecison,
the act of making up your mind about something
decision
who wanted to become a professional athlete.
First
of all, the main cause of parents not supporting their children, is that living as a professional athlete, is a risky decision. Because most people play sports as their hobby and overwhelming majority of them has their own job and have s
alary.
Suggestion
a salary
Moreover
, athletes do not have any specific incomes. And parents wish their children to become educated. Because of that, parents do not s
uppurt
give moral or psychological support, aid, or courage to
support
their k
ids
Suggestion
kids'
kid's
opinion to grow up into a professional a
thelete.
a person trained to compete in sports
athlete
Secondly
, sport is a dangerous thing that d
o not have
Suggestion
does not have
any life guarantee. In recent research, it is said that, there are approximately 8000 sports. And all of them have their own features.
Such
as basketball- is a sport, by most of boys and girls. To play basketball you have to run non-stop and need to concentrate all the time. Unless, you can get a hit by a ball or a scratch from a long nailed g
irls.
Suggestion
girl
F
rom
Suggestion
For
this
reason, parents get worried t
o
Suggestion
for
their children. To conclude, to allow their kids to become a professional a
thelete
a person trained to compete in sports
athlete
is not the f
avorite
something regarded with special favor or liking
favourite
decision of p
arents.
Suggestion
the parents
But if their kids are more s
killful
having or showing knowledge and skill and aptitude
skilful
than they thought, parents should think about
this
more before speaking to their children.
Submitted by enhlnno on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • parental support
  • ambitions
  • career stability
  • physical health
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • fame
  • financial success
  • competition
  • risk of injury
  • career span
  • coaching
  • sports management
  • sports medicine
  • backup plan
  • educational background
  • societal pressures
  • expectations
  • mental resilience
  • self-esteem
  • constructive criticism
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