IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. Discuss the benefits of this development and problems associated with it.

#year #school #university #development
Nowadays, more and more students are taking a
gap
 in their academic
work
 after completing their schooling and before starting their tertiary education.
This
 situation has some benefits, there
also
 have some drawbacks, which are worth considering.
Firstly
, Youngster have myriad of stress and strain of academic
work
, after taking breaks for some time they can feel relaxed from
study
Suggestion
the study
.
In addition
 to
this
, they can travel to overseas in their free time.
This
 way they will be exposed to different cultures and customs. It will help to expand their horizon and they will gain deeper understanding of the world.
Consequently
, they can start their
study
 again with
fresh mind
Suggestion
a fresh mind
.
Furthermore
, some students are
financial
Suggestion
financially
 weak. These types of student can opt to
work
 in their
gap
 year.
This
 way they will not only earn
money but
Accept comma addition
money, but
 will
also
 learn the value of
money
. Because they know that they earn the
money
 by hard
work
, which is one of the valuable lessons of the life. There
also
 have a few drawbacks of
this
 situation.
To begin
 with, sometimes youngster, who takes break may lose interest in the
study
.
it
Suggestion
It
 is not easy to start
study
Suggestion
studying
 after a
gap
 because momentum it breaks down and it is hard to concentrate on education again.
Moreover
, those students who choose to
work
, do not want to go to
study
 as long as they are earning. They become more
money
 minded and financial
independent
Suggestion
independence
.
There
Suggestion
Their
 whole their future affects negatively become it is important to complete the graduation degree in order to obtain the job in a competitive market. To conclude, in my opinion after taking
gap
, student can relax and can become financially independent.
However
, they become
money
 minded may leave their
study
, which can adversely affect their future. So, in my view its disadvantages outweigh its advantage.
Submitted by chrohit246 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: