Because many children are not able to learn foreign languages, school should not force them to learn foreign languages. To what extend to you agree and disagree?

In
this
day of age, many youngsters are not able to learn new languages so schools should not encourage them to study new languages. From my point of view, I totally disagree with the statement, before is some reason. On the one hand,
English
will help students open to many opportunities to find jobs in the future. In modernization, many companies are demanding cognitively speak
English
fluently to communicate with other businesses so
this
is a condition for a good job.
furthermore
, an excellent career for earning a lot of money
also
requires knowing diverse languages because the company meets many abroad customers and exchanges information to improve goods quality to enhance the brand.
For instance
, If people join Vingroup, they will have many degrees and foreign language certificates.
In addition
,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
abroad
countries
have to know a little
English
.
English
is a popular language in many
countries
and it is used widely to communicate with each other and to buy new goods.
English
is not only used to talk but
also
it is the opportunity to learn about the culture of all
countries
around the world. In conclusion, I completely disagree with the idea that schools shouldn't encourage students to learn a new language because
English
helps them opportunities to find a good job.
In addition
, youngsters can communicate with each other and learn about the culture of all
countries
.
Submitted by duongntt.tld on

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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. For instance, instead of just mentioning 'if people join Vingroup,' explain what specific benefits they might receive by knowing foreign languages in such companies.
task achievement
Aim to develop a more balanced argument by addressing counterpoints. For instance, you could acknowledge why some children might struggle with learning foreign languages and provide solutions to these challenges.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a more natural flow between paragraphs and ideas by using linking phrases and showing clear relationships between points. For example, phrases like 'Additionally,' 'Conversely,' and 'Moreover' can help enhance logical structure.
coherence and cohesion
Work on strengthening your introduction and conclusion. Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss and your conclusion effectively summarizes them without introducing new information.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your main points are logically organized, making it easy to follow your argumentation.
task achievement
The response addresses the prompt effectively and provides a clear position on the issue, supporting it with reasoning that is relevant and generally clear.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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