IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#money #space #exploration #waste #governments #benefit #nation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, spending money on
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 is wasteful. Allocated funds from the government would be better used for other beneficial purposes. I would argue that the allocation of the budget should focus on prioritizing sectors
such
Linking Words
 as
education
Use synonyms
 and healthcare.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, investing in priority sectors can greatly benefit a country. In rural areas, healthcare and
education
Use synonyms
 should be prioritized because they significantly impact economic conditions and reduce poverty levels.
For instance
Linking Words
, many people in these areas cannot afford medication for critical illnesses
such
Linking Words
 as heart attacks and diabetes. The government can provide financial assistance to help these communities.
Additionally
Linking Words
, workers are key contributors to the economic condition and the GDP.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, access to
education
Use synonyms
 for lower-income individuals is challenging, and providing free
education
Use synonyms
 can promote equality in educational opportunities.
In addition
Linking Words
, the success rate of
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 is low, with only a few companies or developed countries
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 succeeded in
this
Linking Words
 endeavour. A professor from Harvard University reported on the success rate of
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
, showing that only one company has managed to generate profit from it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the complexity of
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 requires significant investment, and many companies have failed numerous times despite substantial financial backing.
Thus
Linking Words
, the time and cost involved in
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 are unaffordable for developing countries.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I strongly agree with the statement for several reasons. The government should allocate funds to priority sectors to gain more advantages rather than investing in lower-priority areas. The success rate of
space
Use synonyms
exploration
Use synonyms
 is very low, based on factual research.
Submitted by rifki.lufthansa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph introduces a clear main point and that examples are directly linked to these points for added clarity.
task achievement
Expand on the success rate statistics with more detailed examples or contrasting evidence to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You cover multiple dimensions of the issue, including healthcare, education, and economic benefits, ensuring a well-rounded argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: