IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tool #effect
People’s views differ as to whether or not electronic games exert detrimental influences on individuals who play them. While there are some undeniable advantages of playing video games, I believe that
this
 kind of recreational activity is more likely to have harmful impacts on users. On the one hand, there are various reasons why people contemplate playing computer games as a decisive action.
Firstly
, from an educational perspective, computerized games have been introduced as an effective and practical method to encourage players' imagination, creativity as well as concentration, flexibility, and problem-solving skills.
For example
, players have to adjust their strategies many times during the game in order to accomplish it.
Besides
, enjoying straightforward games
such
 as Angry Birds or Bejewelled II would bring instant happiness, relaxation and help players improving their mood.
This
 fact, once again, makes people assured that gaming is not harmful, but
on the contrary
, rather useful.
On the other hand
, I would argue that these benefits are outweighed by the drawbacks.
First
 of all, the pleasure of accomplishing rounds in a game would soon turn into an addiction as gamers are incessantly given scores, targets, and rewards to keep them playing. Many people, especially adolescents, would spend hours each day trying to achieve higher scores than their friends.
This
 type of addition could hamper the health of an individual to a great extent or could lead to poor academic performances at school for the young.
Furthermore
, gaming could extend the increase in aggression as gamers have access to those games that have violent characters. In conclusion, while there are many conflicting opinions about playing electronic games, it seems to me that the potential dangers of video games are more significant than the possible benefits.
Submitted by liz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: