In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is it? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development

As technology is growing

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companies

are trying to advertise their

products

in a sensational way, and it is crucial that they emphasize that their

products

are new and better compared to other

companies

. In my opinion,

this

sort of competition in the advertising industry is a positive development and a healthy way to grow

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the company. Advertising pros of their

products

play a key role in the business world. A ton of merchandise is coming out every single day. And

this

kind of development can help a competitive

product

come out.

For instance

, Samsung and

Apple

are in a rival relationship, and people always compare those two

companies

products

. And

this

competition helps improve their

product

and

. To sell their

products

more than rivals,

companies

are always trying to make more vivid, rich, and competitive advertising to emphasise their merchandise. And proper advertising increases their

profit

. The second reason why I think that

that emphasizes their

product

has a positive side is that the advertising makes the image of the

product

and company.

Also

, it can enhance their

profit

For example

Apple

always emphasises their

products

such

as the iPhone,

Apple

Watch, and iMac. Despite the high pricing, people don't hesitate to purchase it. Of course, some people think it is an exaggeration

. But still, it makes money for

Apple

from now on.

Therefore

, advertisements can improve their

profit

. In conclusion, many

companies

should be adapting the

in a proper way to improve their

profit

. For those reasons, I believe that advertisements that emphasize their

products

are a positive development of

this

industry.

Submitted by oyj1798 on Thu Oct 24 2024

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Task Response

Try to improve sentence structure and grammar for a more polished presentation. A few errors are noticeable but don't deter understanding.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use linking words and phrases to ensure ideas connect smoothly. A clearer logical progression between ideas will enhance the reader's understanding.

Task Response

Expand on individual points with more specific, detailed examples and explanations. This further supports the main argument and shows a sophisticated grasp of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the main argument.

Task Response

Good use of relevant examples such as the comparison between Samsung and Apple to support points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emphasise
advertising
products
innovation
competitive strategy
consumer dissatisfaction
value

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In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is it? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Children are now watching more television than they have ever done before. - What are some of the negative effects of children watching a lot of television? Do you think young children should be allowed to watch television?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

These days many of us prefer to throw damaged things away, whereas in the past people used to repair damaged items and keep them for a long time. Explain why you think this change has happened. What are the effects of this change in attitude?

Most government money should be invested in teaching science rather than any other subjects in order for a country to develop. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, people often tell children that they could achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this advice?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+