In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is it? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development

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As technology is growing

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companies

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are trying to advertise their

products

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in a sensational way, and it is crucial that they emphasize that their

products

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are new and better compared to other

companies

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. In my opinion,

this

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sort of competition in the advertising industry is a positive development and a healthy way to grow

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the company. Advertising pros of their

products

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play a key role in the business world. A ton of merchandise is coming out every single day. And

this

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kind of development can help a competitive

product

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come out.

For instance

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, Samsung and

Apple

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are in a rival relationship, and people always compare those two

companies

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products

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. And

this

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competition helps improve their

product

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and

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. To sell their

products

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more than rivals,

companies

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are always trying to make more vivid, rich, and competitive advertising to emphasise their merchandise. And proper advertising increases their

profit

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. The second reason why I think that

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that emphasizes their

product

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has a positive side is that the advertising makes the image of the

product

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and company.

Also

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, it can enhance their

profit

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For example

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Apple

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always emphasises their

products

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such

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as the iPhone,

Apple

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Watch, and iMac. Despite the high pricing, people don't hesitate to purchase it. Of course, some people think it is an exaggeration

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. But still, it makes money for

Apple

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from now on.

Therefore

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, advertisements can improve their

profit

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. In conclusion, many

companies

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should be adapting the

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in a proper way to improve their

profit

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. For those reasons, I believe that advertisements that emphasize their

products

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are a positive development of

this

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industry.

Submitted by oyj1798 on Thu Oct 24 2024

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Task Response

Try to improve sentence structure and grammar for a more polished presentation. A few errors are noticeable but don't deter understanding.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use linking words and phrases to ensure ideas connect smoothly. A clearer logical progression between ideas will enhance the reader's understanding.

Task Response

Expand on individual points with more specific, detailed examples and explanations. This further supports the main argument and shows a sophisticated grasp of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the main argument.

Task Response

Good use of relevant examples such as the comparison between Samsung and Apple to support points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

emphasise
advertising
products
innovation
competitive strategy
consumer dissatisfaction
value

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In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is it? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people’s interest in famous people in the history of their country?

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages!

You are work working for a company.You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this Write a letter to your manager.In you letter explain why you want to take time off work give details of amount of time you need suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

Detailed descriptions of crimes on newspaper and TV can have bad consequences on society, so this kind of information should be restricted on media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?