There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, especially youngsters are under pressure to pass academically. Because of
this
, people are of the opinion that subjects
which are not academic like physical exercise and cooking, should be cancelled from learning institutions so the students
can be more focused on academic subjects
.
Firstly
, I think in today's World the syllabus in schools has been made very hard mainly for academic subjects
, which requires ample time for learners to consume the knowledge. For instance
, courses such
as artificial intelligence , which
are not only important but are now present in the course outline. These courses are very tough to understand and demand time to study, which Correct pronoun usage
apply
is
tough to pay attention to other disciplines like cookery. Verb problem
makes it
Moreover
, having students
study more subjects
can have a potential effect on their bodies making them stressed.
However
, this
does not mean that students
should avoid taking classes in physical learning and cookery, as they are for their well-being only. For example
, taking physical classes can help students
to stay fit in life which is one of the most important things in the World. Besides
, some people can become more successful in life by learning other skills which are non-academic, such
as cricket or cooking.
In conclusion, non-academic subjects
are not important because it is very hard to give time for them when dealing with academics and sometimes it may lead to stress. But, neglecting them is also
not a great idea as they might end up being successful in those areas. I strongly disagree that removing those courses is probably not a good idea as it is for the benefit of the students
.Submitted by hassan05.quadri on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and addresses both sides of the argument, which is good for achieving a complete response. However, aim to develop your ideas more fully to enhance clarity and comprehension.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is relatively clear, but try to ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can increase coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Although you provide some examples, they could be more specific and detailed to better support your arguments. This would strengthen the task response and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion nicely sums up your opinion while acknowledging both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states the topic and provides a good starting point for your discussions.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?