IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

-Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

#-many #criminals #crimes #prison
Crime rate
Suggestion
The crime rate
 has increased manifold these days. In spite of the punishment, many convicts tend to repeat crimes once they get released from jail. I think there are several reasons for
this
 behaviour. In my opinion, it is the responsibility of the government and the society to solve
this
 problem. There are many reasons that encourage criminals to commit crimes again. The most important ones are social stigma, lack of emotional support and poor job opportunities. Criminal background drastically decreases job opportunities as no employer prefers to appoint an employee with
criminal record
Suggestion
a criminal record
criminal records
.
This
 leaves them with no career options and
thus
 no financial support. Many times, these criminals are not accepted by their own families and
this
 makes them lonely and homeless.
In addition
 to
this
, people don’t want ex-convicts to reside in their communities and treat them with suspicion. All these factors lead to hopelessness and directly or indirectly promote violence.
However
, these problems can be avoided to a large extent by
government’s intervention
Suggestion
the government’s intervention
 as well as changes in people’s outlook towards these culprits. Jail inmates should be taught about the best possible ways to handle life in the most difficult situations and
this
 will prevent them from committing crimes again. The government should organise schemes that provide financial assistance and train them in useful jobs. Constant psychological counselling is necessary for the criminals and their families to rebuild personal relationships. The society should
also
 change their mindset and attitude towards prisoners and provide them with the necessary emotional support to become responsible individuals. To conclude, though there are quite a number of factors which encourage criminals to commit crimes again, I am of the opinion that the government and the society should take the responsibility to rehabilitate ex-criminals so as to prevent them from committing
further
 crimes.
Submitted by Mabel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: