IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

4 Telecommuting refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology . Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades . How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommutin ?

#workers #jobs #home #part #week #office #computer #technology #countries #decades #society #growth #telecommutin
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying the fact that a lot of
workers
Use synonyms
 finish their
job
Use synonyms
 requirements remotely by using computers and they communicate weekly with their workplace.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Telecommuting is increasing in different spots and
this
Linking Words
 might be the basic way of communication with
work
Use synonyms
 for the next decades.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss how society will be impacted especially with
Correct article usage
the telecommutin
show examples
telecommutin
Correct your spelling
telecommuting
telecommute
 increment.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are many countries that refer to
workers
Use synonyms
 doing their jobs remotely for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 might believe communication remotely will help and lead to reducing the office numbers.
In other words
Linking Words
, if the
workers
Use synonyms
 are able to
work
Use synonyms
 remotely for a long period that means no need to pay for and repair their offices and
this
Linking Words
 thing is helpful for each workplace.
In addition
Linking Words
,
workers
Use synonyms
 agree to do
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
 remotely they believe it's better for them to
work
Use synonyms
 from home and be close to their family.
For example
Linking Words
, during COVID-19 most
people
Use synonyms
 returned to their
work
Use synonyms
 remotely and they were totally satisfied with that, most of them prefer to keep doing their
job
Use synonyms
 as it was during the pandemic. In terms of society's impact, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 will not be reported back to their
job
Use synonyms
 location whenever it's needed from them. It's possible to say that, most of the
workers
Use synonyms
 will be lazy and will not respond to their supervisors at
work
Use synonyms
 when they are asked to attend to the
job
Use synonyms
 site.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many of the new employees will not be familiar with the
work
Use synonyms
 environment because of their working remotely and communicating and finishing their duties by phone or computer.
For instance
Linking Words
, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 remotely and they don't get engaged or talk with other departments, they are not familiar with each other. In conclusion, there are many
workers
Use synonyms
 doing their duties remotely for around a week using computers and technology methods, which is helpful for them. It is
also
Linking Words
 true that many
people
Use synonyms
 will not be familiar with their
work
Use synonyms
 environment.
Submitted by altammar12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas.
task achievement
Develop each main point thoroughly with additional details or examples, particularly in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Clarify some of your ideas further. For example, explain why telecommuting might lead to increased laziness or unfamiliarity with the work environment.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly introduces the topic and outlines the main focus of the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the question by discussing the effects of telecommuting on society.
task achievement
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: