Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians, or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other jobs should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #jobs

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Certain people hold the opinion that those working in the entertainment industry are paid in excessive amounts.

This

Linking Words

essay completely agrees with

this

Linking Words

statement and I will discuss why with regards to factors

such

Linking Words

as their relevance in

society

Use synonyms

as well as the job they do relative to the community. I will

also

Linking Words

discuss which other occupations I believe should be paid more. Entertainers are not an integral part of

society

Use synonyms

as they do not help or grow the community in any way.

For example

Linking Words

, Cristiano Ronaldo is the highest paid footballer in the world whose weekly wages are more than an average person makes in a year. Running for 90 minutes on a field cannot be compared to the righteous and valuable work done by other professionals

such

Linking Words

as doctors. It is for

this

Linking Words

reason that I believe the role of entertainers in

society

Use synonyms

does not justify their earnings. There are various other professions who have a much greater impact on

society

Use synonyms

, but their income is in no way reflective of

this

Linking Words

. Doctors are a prime example of

this

Linking Words

because every day they are working tirelessly to save lives, yet in comparison to the salaries of entertainers, their earnings are measly. Another consideration to take into account is that medical training is extensive as well as expensive. For these reasons, doctors are more deserving of high salaries, especially for the long hours and good work they do.

Therefore

Linking Words

, occupations

such

Linking Words

as those of doctors and teachers should be paid more because they deserve it based on their contribution to the public as well as humankind. In conclusion, those working in the entertainment industry

earn

Suggestion

earning

far too much money, not only in relation to other professions, but

also

Linking Words

relative to their contribution to the community. Individuals should be paid according to their hard work and the value that they contribute.

Submitted by dashbhana on Tue Oct 22 2019

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians, or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other jobs should be highly paid?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Many people try to balance work and other parts of their life. However, this is very difficult to do. What are the problems associated with this? What is the best way to achieve a better balance? Write at least 250 words.

Older people often choose to spend money on themselves (e.g on hoilidays) rather than save money for their children after retirement.Is this a positive or negative development?

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks.

Fresh water has always been a limited source in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of the increased demand, what measurements can governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?