Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians, or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other jobs should be highly paid?

Certain people hold the opinion that those working in the entertainment industry are paid in excessive amounts.
This
essay completely agrees with
this
statement and I will discuss why with regards to factors
such
as their relevance in
society
as well as the job they do relative to the community. I will
also
discuss which other occupations I believe should be paid more. Entertainers are not an integral part of
society
as they do not help or grow the community in any way.
For example
, Cristiano Ronaldo is the highest paid footballer in the world whose weekly wages are more than an average person makes in a year. Running for 90 minutes on a field cannot be compared to the righteous and valuable work done by other professionals
such
as doctors. It is for
this
reason that I believe the role of entertainers in
society
does not justify their earnings. There are various other professions who have a much greater impact on
society
, but their income is in no way reflective of
this
. Doctors are a prime example of
this
because every day they are working tirelessly to save lives, yet in comparison to the salaries of entertainers, their earnings are measly. Another consideration to take into account is that medical training is extensive as well as expensive. For these reasons, doctors are more deserving of high salaries, especially for the long hours and good work they do.
Therefore
, occupations
such
as those of doctors and teachers should be paid more because they deserve it based on their contribution to the public as well as humankind. In conclusion, those working in the entertainment industry
earn
Suggestion
earning
far too much money, not only in relation to other professions, but
also
relative to their contribution to the community. Individuals should be paid according to their hard work and the value that they contribute.
Submitted by dashbhana on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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